"Treats", Hawaii and Noah's Arc

Firstly its been 6 days since my last post. Sincere apologies.

Secondly, its because I've been having an INCREDIBLE time with the other reps making this years Stephenson College Freshers' week amazeballs - Don't mention balls, not after some poor fresher went along with the Rugby team on a sports bar crawl and had one strapped to his head - no fresher was hurt during the crawl. We hope. 

So its been 6 days of madness, not enough hours in the day, too much vitamin C intake, run-ins with Police, dancing when sober (not easy), welfaring welfare, 3 Freshers' fairs, a few chunderers, chants against the other college (including words which wouldn't usually be uttered) and a Durham University mix-up of 'Dilemma' - throw in a trip to A&E and we have ourselves a freshers week! woop woop! COME TO DURHAM UNI (stevo, obvs)

To highlight a few events (working backwards, I've forgotten what day it is already) last night was the Silent Disco and parent night - we all have kids to look after for a year and can I just point out one of  our kids is going on Pointless, yes the pointless TV show on BBC where you guess what no one else guessed and its incredibly hard to win... the point? - there isn't one, hence the name pointless, because its pointless because no one ever wins? is that clear? So we have the next George Clooney in our brood. So far we have 5 kids for 6 parents (very modern) so if anyone wants to be adopted then let me know! Ah the silent disco - included putting your fingers in someone face and mouthing "TWO!" "ONE!" and raving away when they turn over and avoiding singing when someone approaches you with no headphones on. 

Mr&Mrs Stevo - ahhh strong (unfortunately strong) memories from last year fill my memory, swapping clothes, inappropriate dancing, downing water - it all seems quite tame (until you add the things it wouldn't be PC to add. This year includes sucking lollies and downing drinks, spinning round and working out an anagram - all for a week of being known then everyone forgets that you ever were in Mr&Mrs Stevo - Oh until next year.... thanks, 'friends'. 

Durham was an interesting night, the Hawaiian night, which jumbled into the pirates night and the cowboys and indians night - Durham is too small. It included some very, very, very very drunk freshers (fresher), a 4-bar bar crawl (with "treats" in one - thankfully just drinks, we were worried), reps dancing alone when the freshers were ushered to the next bar, a pleasant chat with a Policeman (not really but I'll be good), a pleasant chat with a nurse a Dr, a paramedic and a taxi driver telling us about his bankruptcy for 40 minutes and how everyone called him superman - I politely said "aw" at occasional intervals - it got a bit creepy when he started playing the superman theme tune, more creepy that he had it on his phone - last time I checked Superman wasn't 18 stone and didn't like to sit in an igloo. 

The Arc - we clambered in with the other college in 2 by 2, the elephant fox and kangaroo, Noah was late but he is 3000 years old, his wife came too (just had to rhyme the last bit...) The Arc is the first night the Freshers meet the other college and actually get to try out their new chants and see a teeny bit of rivalry (utter lunacy to be exact), the Arc consisted of bad cheese jokes (which I thought were hilarious but anything makes me laugh), Natalie being soaked in Jack Daniels and Coke, Rahil singing a 5 minute mash-up of incredible songs whilst playing the piano, Lizzie doing her thing on her guitar, Ricky remixing Dilemma "Even thought I'm from John Snow, oh you know I'm crazy over Stevo" or something like that I've slept since then and then some performances from John Snow, hilariously inappropriate gas bill jokes and blind date with an Irish girl and Indian woman and cocktail sausages (no girl wants to hear a boy say his favourite cocktail is a cocktail sausage - just for a heads up HAHAHA).

So College Colours tonight - the excuse to lose your voice shouting the C word and calling the other college names you would't shout at your worst enemy - ooh it gets harsh - the excuse to hate anything that is blue - I'm currently looking at my dashboard on my laptop and not liking that Safari, Twitter, iTunes and Word (oh and Mail and half of Finder) are in blue - at least Calendar and Dictionary are with me) - the excuse to shark on the John Snow freshers (thats Stevo freshers on John Snow freshers). It will be a good one.

I now have to finish my typing because I can no longer concentrate as my room is wobbling, windows shaking, light flickering and ceiling creaking - I wish whoever is above me would take trampoline practise outside. thanks. 

Stevo Love, 
RHS x

p.s. I sincerely hope "BLOGGGG" was shouted in a certain household when I posted this - I will be very disappointed if it wasn't! Love x 

Ku

Tuesday night, after a day of moving in a handful of International students, a nap and a risotto there was a mild panic about what to wear - It was PUB GOLF - so golf attire was "e-s-s-e-n-t-i-a-l" acc. the  Head Fresher Rep - forfeits for those who slacked (usual forfeit: drinking a raw egg mm-mmmm)

So some terribly short shorts it was and a knitted jumper with a collar. For most it was the jumper over the shoulders "hot day on the GC look" 

Anyway, that minor panic aside and our third flat mate arriving (as we prayed we wouldn't be late and have to sit (or drink) a forfeit) we headed to Pub Golf which began in our college central (Central), where we were allocated partners. Now this was interesting as it had to be a boy and a girl and there was another mild panic as we prayed it would be someone nice (everyone's nice, but you get the picture) so my friend and I were partnered up (everyone asking us if we were ok with our partners and I will just say that they were the best - downing a pint of Gunniess when it isn't even one of the challenges(my partner)? and talks about babies (my friend's partner)? - we were just fine! 

So we were given our scorecard, in which showed the challenges - the first challenge (drinks, always) - A Steamo - which contains an alcopop, commonly known as VK (I have been paid to say that) - the college drink which is very red and very cherry flavoured but the downside it contains caffeine - which means poor Ruth can't drink it so I had to get my scorecard edited - a Steamo became a Rosé Spritzer and Jagerbomb became Jaegermeister and lemonade - yes really. 

The idea of Pub Golf is to down your drink in the number of sips stated for each hole - hopefully you can down your drink in one to keep up with the scores but trying to down a 1/2 pint of cider (cidre if you're French) which is freezing cold is never easy, think brain freeze for your throat so the ability to swallow becomes impossible...

As you can see, and was the case things got messy, chants in the middle of Stockton town centre "WE ARE RANGERS" -  yeah cool, a train of golfers, normal, storming into people's locals however was hilarious to see their faces, running out of wine glasses so we were drinking out of cups to down our wine - so classy - the locals helping behind the bar and overcharging for snakebite and black (just a word to Mr Snakebite - why would you invent such a vile liquid?!), taking pictures in the toilets so that we miss the "move on" to the next bar, hearing "FORE" and having to dive on the floor, whilst paying for your drink, or throwing yourself against a wall - all t0 avoid having a shot - wow, we so cray. 

Our Partners - The Storytellers

the 8th hole - The Storytellers, I spent most of that time in the toilets with the people who were totally not being sick (which added +10 onto your score), singing (shouting) happy birthday at complete strangers (she loved it) and taking pictures that resembled Zoolander? is that right - jeez I must have been slightly tipsy - so much so I may have not done the challenge in that bar and may have written that I did my Jaegermeister and lemonade in one - which I obvs would have been able to do - I'm so sorry! I'm defs getting a forfeit for this next time were out. 

The 9th hole - Ku - thats Ku like cue, or queue, not Ku like a bird cooooo coooo - Ku like a snooker bat not a blue tit, got it, good. We were welcomed into the club by Kendrick Lamar and his swimming pools - he was totally there... in spirit anyway. Everyone came alive then, and everyone was best friends - as everyone is after a couple too many Sambuca shots - thats a Sambuca shot for £1 BTW - I should be paid for this. The music was the best of urban, R&B and other chart - all was well in the world of Ku, cue and queue until the other college arrive, the name slips my mind but they came in masses, admittedly it was only about 11:30pm by the time we got there but several alcohol related challenges later they looked as fresh as a daisy and we looked like trodden on tulips, ok maybe that was just me but its all ok because the creator of our college made steam trains and astonished the world and theirs invented white stuff that annoyingly falls from the sky when its cold - choose your college wisely! 

Scorecard

Ah so all was going swimmingly in Kendrick Lamar's swimming pool when we had to go and help my friend who was slightly on the tipsy side, the amount of people who regurgitated nasty concoctions of alcohol isn't possible to count on 5 hands - it was a lot, Pub Golf is a dangerous non-sporting activity and should not be a joke, although its very funny to watch everyone's golf hats be turned upside down and people saying how much they haven't spoken to you much before but are "literally in love" with you and people forgetting how to drink drinks normally so down every drink they see and people getting taxis home when they live 2         minutes walking distance away - standard.

I will use this opportunity to mention a certain boy, a fellow Welfare Rep, a Yorkshire man, Thomas Perkins (Tom, Tommy P, Perky, whatevs) I need to say (he didn't ask me to write this) his dance moves were so slick even the black (or gangster, lets be equal) kids couldn't compete, as above the hat was turned upside down and those shapes put Justin Timberlake to shame - girls, watch out, in Ku Tom lures you in and keeps you hooked watching his dance moves. Those hip do not lie. 

That was Rep Initiation over and it was undoubtedly brought everyone together - awww. So now the arrival of the freshers, we already have an array of internationals in college and the home students arrive on Sunday then Durham Freshers Week 2013 officially begins! woohoo #DurhamUni #Freshers2013 #Unay #bestweekever #bestsongever #pinkflyingturtle #Stevo 

NB: I am a welfare rep which means this post was not intended to promote heavy drinking.

Take it easy tiger! 

RHS x