The first house party

Lets just first get out the way how amazing College Colours was - Middlesbrough live, a massive dance floor, amazing lighting, average (vile) female dancers (but whatever, I can understand there was a budget), pyrotechnics and tunes that I havn't danced to since I was 16 - Amazing and all whilst I was completely sober - which is hilarious as you see everyone really really drunk and get to tell them "you're drunk!" and receive abuse back - timeless. You also don't have the hangover the next day.

On an even better note due to a week of running after freshers, dancing, no alcohol and drinking gallons of water I have lost weight (yahh) - "become a fresher rep bootcamp"- I am going to start it up. It works wonders

Ah so its now all over and the end of an amazing week would not be complete without a house party and there was one - seeing as most people had been drinking since 2pm everyone was slightly on the tipsy side shall we say - my friend and I hadn't had anything by the time we got to the party (ok one G&T for Natalie and a V&O pour moi (vodka orange - obvs) so we were quite sober-ish. Well after a week of not drinking, two glasses of wine soon went to our heads and the madness started...

We had to sit on my bed when we got home and jot down everything because it was all too hilar to forget. Now where to start - the last thing that will ever be relevant to me - I have a Maid of Honour - A little early, I know, especially seeing as marriage isn't on the cards - ever - and its very obvious who my MoH is, we both have the same talent. Anyway, we hugged it out after we agreed to be each other's so thats one less thing for me to stress about! 

The Tour

We were quickly taken on a tour by Andrew (thanks Andrew) which we were so impressed with because from a flat for 3 people to a 9 bedroom house we were slightly gobsmacked - no beds made, all windows open, don't even know if the floors were carpeted or not because we couldn't see the floor. However I was impressed by the size of the rooms and a very large stash of protein in one of the largest bedrooms and at least 3 guitars (Anthony's room if I remember correctly), shoes were very nicely lined up downstairs (has anyone checked in the brown leather pointy ones yet? I would), I was very impressed that I didn't see any posters of naked women on any walls - classy boys (we didn't enter the 2 girls rooms who lived there) and the kitchen was spotless - has anyone checked the freezer? #quack.

Things got messy 

sober as. 

I left my phone with several people whom I should not have left my phone - never a great idea leaving your phone with tipsy people - unless you want snapchats sending to everyone and having to play rock paper scissors to reduce the number of seconds a picture is sent for - I have lovely friends. I was approached by the DJ who was holding a turquoise tea pot and was drinking out of the spout - me thinking this was some sort of drugged cocktail concoction was mortified until I was told to try some and to my utmost horror it was tap water - and as Ben said it made for very smooth drinking. However it did remind of "drink me" in Alice in Wonderland and we all know what that film was based on.

The end

The night finished with a chat with a really sober, fresher rep, rugby playing medic who swore to be a "good boy" this year and pass - you pinky promised - the JCR Chairman saw (who was busy watching breaking bad - great show) and my MoH. I almost can't remember all of that conversation but I remember something was said about being "1/4 Congolese, 1/4 Ugandan, 1/4 Argentinean and 1/4 Egypt" (yes not Egyptian, just Egypt)- Sorry to disappoint! 

It was then time to leave - after shouting "KIT KAT CHIT CHAT" at my fellow Kit-Kat Chit-Chat partner (5 times too many) and leaving the Vice President reading a very, shall we say 'interesting' book about fulfilment - complete with pictures we hopped into a taxi - where I had the door opened by my rock paper scissors opponent - then we got hope Natalie ate porridge out of a mug with her hair tied up like a chav (she said it! not me) and wrote down everything that happened - and some of which is far too inappropriate for a blog - I kept this relatively clean. By the way, we found 3 rubber ducks and hid them...

sums up Freshers'

A quick note about Freshers'

A&E trip aside, it has been an incredible freshers' week (sick?), its so amazing to wear a yellow t-shirt and represent the college as a Welfare rep and I know the Fresher reps and Ticket reps will agree too (and the exec!). Its been just over a week of karaoke, acoustic nights, Hawaii, fairs, Matriculation, too many chants, too many stairs, long nights, early mornings, little food, no alcohol, sports bar crawls and painting by numbers, the lion king, Ku, Noah's Arc and about a million other things that I am honestly too tired to remember. Buts its been a great experience and I've made friends that I never thought I would.

ttfn

RHS x 

p.s. Mike. 

p.s.s. No ducks were hurt during the party

"Treats", Hawaii and Noah's Arc

Firstly its been 6 days since my last post. Sincere apologies.

Secondly, its because I've been having an INCREDIBLE time with the other reps making this years Stephenson College Freshers' week amazeballs - Don't mention balls, not after some poor fresher went along with the Rugby team on a sports bar crawl and had one strapped to his head - no fresher was hurt during the crawl. We hope. 

So its been 6 days of madness, not enough hours in the day, too much vitamin C intake, run-ins with Police, dancing when sober (not easy), welfaring welfare, 3 Freshers' fairs, a few chunderers, chants against the other college (including words which wouldn't usually be uttered) and a Durham University mix-up of 'Dilemma' - throw in a trip to A&E and we have ourselves a freshers week! woop woop! COME TO DURHAM UNI (stevo, obvs)

To highlight a few events (working backwards, I've forgotten what day it is already) last night was the Silent Disco and parent night - we all have kids to look after for a year and can I just point out one of  our kids is going on Pointless, yes the pointless TV show on BBC where you guess what no one else guessed and its incredibly hard to win... the point? - there isn't one, hence the name pointless, because its pointless because no one ever wins? is that clear? So we have the next George Clooney in our brood. So far we have 5 kids for 6 parents (very modern) so if anyone wants to be adopted then let me know! Ah the silent disco - included putting your fingers in someone face and mouthing "TWO!" "ONE!" and raving away when they turn over and avoiding singing when someone approaches you with no headphones on. 

Mr&Mrs Stevo - ahhh strong (unfortunately strong) memories from last year fill my memory, swapping clothes, inappropriate dancing, downing water - it all seems quite tame (until you add the things it wouldn't be PC to add. This year includes sucking lollies and downing drinks, spinning round and working out an anagram - all for a week of being known then everyone forgets that you ever were in Mr&Mrs Stevo - Oh until next year.... thanks, 'friends'. 

Durham was an interesting night, the Hawaiian night, which jumbled into the pirates night and the cowboys and indians night - Durham is too small. It included some very, very, very very drunk freshers (fresher), a 4-bar bar crawl (with "treats" in one - thankfully just drinks, we were worried), reps dancing alone when the freshers were ushered to the next bar, a pleasant chat with a Policeman (not really but I'll be good), a pleasant chat with a nurse a Dr, a paramedic and a taxi driver telling us about his bankruptcy for 40 minutes and how everyone called him superman - I politely said "aw" at occasional intervals - it got a bit creepy when he started playing the superman theme tune, more creepy that he had it on his phone - last time I checked Superman wasn't 18 stone and didn't like to sit in an igloo. 

The Arc - we clambered in with the other college in 2 by 2, the elephant fox and kangaroo, Noah was late but he is 3000 years old, his wife came too (just had to rhyme the last bit...) The Arc is the first night the Freshers meet the other college and actually get to try out their new chants and see a teeny bit of rivalry (utter lunacy to be exact), the Arc consisted of bad cheese jokes (which I thought were hilarious but anything makes me laugh), Natalie being soaked in Jack Daniels and Coke, Rahil singing a 5 minute mash-up of incredible songs whilst playing the piano, Lizzie doing her thing on her guitar, Ricky remixing Dilemma "Even thought I'm from John Snow, oh you know I'm crazy over Stevo" or something like that I've slept since then and then some performances from John Snow, hilariously inappropriate gas bill jokes and blind date with an Irish girl and Indian woman and cocktail sausages (no girl wants to hear a boy say his favourite cocktail is a cocktail sausage - just for a heads up HAHAHA).

So College Colours tonight - the excuse to lose your voice shouting the C word and calling the other college names you would't shout at your worst enemy - ooh it gets harsh - the excuse to hate anything that is blue - I'm currently looking at my dashboard on my laptop and not liking that Safari, Twitter, iTunes and Word (oh and Mail and half of Finder) are in blue - at least Calendar and Dictionary are with me) - the excuse to shark on the John Snow freshers (thats Stevo freshers on John Snow freshers). It will be a good one.

I now have to finish my typing because I can no longer concentrate as my room is wobbling, windows shaking, light flickering and ceiling creaking - I wish whoever is above me would take trampoline practise outside. thanks. 

Stevo Love, 
RHS x

p.s. I sincerely hope "BLOGGGG" was shouted in a certain household when I posted this - I will be very disappointed if it wasn't! Love x 

Stevo Rangers

I've been told to keep this short and sweet, I've also been told my blog someone's "guilty pleasure" and they have me on tab (not tap!) - A fast rugby player... but I'm not allowed to say who, I've had four requests to feature in a post and I've heard people are jealous that a picture of others has appeared in a post! - I'm more than flattered. Thanks guys and dolls!

Stevo Rangers - we're a bunch of bear hunters who go and hunt bears to eat them and wear their fur. We also belong to Durham University Stephenson College and last night was the Freshers' week launch. I am a welfare rep (if you didn't know that previously), there are other welfare reps, Fresher reps, ticket reps and the exec and non-exec and it was out job last night to introduce the Freshers into Stephenson college in true Stevo Ranger style - after they caught their first bear they had to complete several challenges set by their block captains - my ideas were very tame and innocent such as "find someone with the same birth place as you" and to tell an exec member that you're interested in mountain climbing and "where is the nearest mountain?" whereas as the night went on I saw Freshers' with several numbers written on their arms, phone numbers? hats were stolen and I mean stolen - naughty, reps were thrown in the air, catwalk walks were done and 'shoe phone' was seen (where did that come from?), Freshers got drunk and Freshers completed their first chant - trying to get 400 Freshers to listen was damn hard mann but oh so worth it. Other challenges included putting a condom on your head (for safe sex obvs) in the fastest time and having a Stemo (VK Cherry, Apple sours shot and Cointreau), the college drink or a Lollipop (yum!, its a non alcoholic drinks to all the t-totallers). It was very interesting (in an abstract psychological, non weird (ok weird) way) to see how the newbies came out of their shells - 6 hours before I had met their parents and their innocent angel faces but oh how things change when the 'rents leave - I'm never having children. 

Bar crawl tonight! - Letting the rabbits, rangers and ravers into a club, after several rounds of drinking games and a formal dinner things could get not messy, but chaotic! - WOOHOO, can't wait. 

//P.S. to all the people I have promised a mention to I will get round to it! I'm just concocting the best post ya see 

Stay safe Fresher! (and reps!) 

RHS x

Ku

Tuesday night, after a day of moving in a handful of International students, a nap and a risotto there was a mild panic about what to wear - It was PUB GOLF - so golf attire was "e-s-s-e-n-t-i-a-l" acc. the  Head Fresher Rep - forfeits for those who slacked (usual forfeit: drinking a raw egg mm-mmmm)

So some terribly short shorts it was and a knitted jumper with a collar. For most it was the jumper over the shoulders "hot day on the GC look" 

Anyway, that minor panic aside and our third flat mate arriving (as we prayed we wouldn't be late and have to sit (or drink) a forfeit) we headed to Pub Golf which began in our college central (Central), where we were allocated partners. Now this was interesting as it had to be a boy and a girl and there was another mild panic as we prayed it would be someone nice (everyone's nice, but you get the picture) so my friend and I were partnered up (everyone asking us if we were ok with our partners and I will just say that they were the best - downing a pint of Gunniess when it isn't even one of the challenges(my partner)? and talks about babies (my friend's partner)? - we were just fine! 

So we were given our scorecard, in which showed the challenges - the first challenge (drinks, always) - A Steamo - which contains an alcopop, commonly known as VK (I have been paid to say that) - the college drink which is very red and very cherry flavoured but the downside it contains caffeine - which means poor Ruth can't drink it so I had to get my scorecard edited - a Steamo became a Rosé Spritzer and Jagerbomb became Jaegermeister and lemonade - yes really. 

The idea of Pub Golf is to down your drink in the number of sips stated for each hole - hopefully you can down your drink in one to keep up with the scores but trying to down a 1/2 pint of cider (cidre if you're French) which is freezing cold is never easy, think brain freeze for your throat so the ability to swallow becomes impossible...

As you can see, and was the case things got messy, chants in the middle of Stockton town centre "WE ARE RANGERS" -  yeah cool, a train of golfers, normal, storming into people's locals however was hilarious to see their faces, running out of wine glasses so we were drinking out of cups to down our wine - so classy - the locals helping behind the bar and overcharging for snakebite and black (just a word to Mr Snakebite - why would you invent such a vile liquid?!), taking pictures in the toilets so that we miss the "move on" to the next bar, hearing "FORE" and having to dive on the floor, whilst paying for your drink, or throwing yourself against a wall - all t0 avoid having a shot - wow, we so cray. 

Our Partners - The Storytellers

the 8th hole - The Storytellers, I spent most of that time in the toilets with the people who were totally not being sick (which added +10 onto your score), singing (shouting) happy birthday at complete strangers (she loved it) and taking pictures that resembled Zoolander? is that right - jeez I must have been slightly tipsy - so much so I may have not done the challenge in that bar and may have written that I did my Jaegermeister and lemonade in one - which I obvs would have been able to do - I'm so sorry! I'm defs getting a forfeit for this next time were out. 

The 9th hole - Ku - thats Ku like cue, or queue, not Ku like a bird cooooo coooo - Ku like a snooker bat not a blue tit, got it, good. We were welcomed into the club by Kendrick Lamar and his swimming pools - he was totally there... in spirit anyway. Everyone came alive then, and everyone was best friends - as everyone is after a couple too many Sambuca shots - thats a Sambuca shot for £1 BTW - I should be paid for this. The music was the best of urban, R&B and other chart - all was well in the world of Ku, cue and queue until the other college arrive, the name slips my mind but they came in masses, admittedly it was only about 11:30pm by the time we got there but several alcohol related challenges later they looked as fresh as a daisy and we looked like trodden on tulips, ok maybe that was just me but its all ok because the creator of our college made steam trains and astonished the world and theirs invented white stuff that annoyingly falls from the sky when its cold - choose your college wisely! 

Scorecard

Ah so all was going swimmingly in Kendrick Lamar's swimming pool when we had to go and help my friend who was slightly on the tipsy side, the amount of people who regurgitated nasty concoctions of alcohol isn't possible to count on 5 hands - it was a lot, Pub Golf is a dangerous non-sporting activity and should not be a joke, although its very funny to watch everyone's golf hats be turned upside down and people saying how much they haven't spoken to you much before but are "literally in love" with you and people forgetting how to drink drinks normally so down every drink they see and people getting taxis home when they live 2         minutes walking distance away - standard.

I will use this opportunity to mention a certain boy, a fellow Welfare Rep, a Yorkshire man, Thomas Perkins (Tom, Tommy P, Perky, whatevs) I need to say (he didn't ask me to write this) his dance moves were so slick even the black (or gangster, lets be equal) kids couldn't compete, as above the hat was turned upside down and those shapes put Justin Timberlake to shame - girls, watch out, in Ku Tom lures you in and keeps you hooked watching his dance moves. Those hip do not lie. 

That was Rep Initiation over and it was undoubtedly brought everyone together - awww. So now the arrival of the freshers, we already have an array of internationals in college and the home students arrive on Sunday then Durham Freshers Week 2013 officially begins! woohoo #DurhamUni #Freshers2013 #Unay #bestweekever #bestsongever #pinkflyingturtle #Stevo 

NB: I am a welfare rep which means this post was not intended to promote heavy drinking.

Take it easy tiger! 

RHS x

In which I am christened "Welfare Rep"

I've been back in Stockton now for four days, which is nothing to shout about, apart from that we are living in a flat right on the high street - right next to B&M and Topshop, (only in Stockton). With a broken oven, TV port, microwave, hoover, extractor and no hot water, however we do have Virgin Broadband which is so fast. But I definitely wouldn't recommend Jomast property group.

Moving on from the boring issue of council tax exemption forms and broken flats in general, I am a Welfare rep this year, along with several other slightly incredible people. This involves me being T-total through the majority of my 2nd year and looking after Freshers - not holding back their hair if they are being sick but ensuring no one dies - which would be a bit tragic.

So far we have received our Fresher Rep tops, bright yellow for Welfare - which, lets be honest goes with absolutely no skin tone, but at least we can be seen and at least I have "Mary Poppins" on the bottom of my top as my "Banter name" - hilarious.

So yesterday involved us doing a boat race - to all those innocent young-ens out there you stand in a line and down an alcopop as quick as you can to beat the other team - really healthy, really good for you and you don't get bloated at all. So anyway VK it was which soon turned into a J20 for me as VK has caffeine in it - can you believe?! - J20 is much easier to down, as there are no bubbles!

call me Mary

There were also egg competitions which involved building a tower with newspaper, to support the egg and be the tallest of all the teams - the losers, or anyone who dropped the egg had to down 2 raw eggs - yummy, there ended up being 3 downers of eggy alcopop - all that protein.

Day 2, today - the "serious" stuff, which involved trying to rein-act the handshake from parent trap, only to be bettered by a twin who knew the whole thing, damn, and learning an "interesting fact" about everyone which we had to tell the group the most interesting one we had heard - from no nipples when born to having a rabbitt called Lady Gaga, haha who does that?!

So, the serious stuff, Nightline, the Durham University version of the Samaritans, apart from they aren't religious and can give no advice at all and are just there to listen - we were given example role plays which got so deep you had to hold it together! If anyone needs a good listener I know 50 reps that have been trained! 

Onto tomorrow - filling the Freshers' rooms with welcome packs and calendars, an against smoking course and all for the arrival of the International students. Aww - can't wait!! 

Its gonna be a crackin' Freshers'

Peace out bread bin

RHS