Stevo Rangers

I've been told to keep this short and sweet, I've also been told my blog someone's "guilty pleasure" and they have me on tab (not tap!) - A fast rugby player... but I'm not allowed to say who, I've had four requests to feature in a post and I've heard people are jealous that a picture of others has appeared in a post! - I'm more than flattered. Thanks guys and dolls!

Stevo Rangers - we're a bunch of bear hunters who go and hunt bears to eat them and wear their fur. We also belong to Durham University Stephenson College and last night was the Freshers' week launch. I am a welfare rep (if you didn't know that previously), there are other welfare reps, Fresher reps, ticket reps and the exec and non-exec and it was out job last night to introduce the Freshers into Stephenson college in true Stevo Ranger style - after they caught their first bear they had to complete several challenges set by their block captains - my ideas were very tame and innocent such as "find someone with the same birth place as you" and to tell an exec member that you're interested in mountain climbing and "where is the nearest mountain?" whereas as the night went on I saw Freshers' with several numbers written on their arms, phone numbers? hats were stolen and I mean stolen - naughty, reps were thrown in the air, catwalk walks were done and 'shoe phone' was seen (where did that come from?), Freshers got drunk and Freshers completed their first chant - trying to get 400 Freshers to listen was damn hard mann but oh so worth it. Other challenges included putting a condom on your head (for safe sex obvs) in the fastest time and having a Stemo (VK Cherry, Apple sours shot and Cointreau), the college drink or a Lollipop (yum!, its a non alcoholic drinks to all the t-totallers). It was very interesting (in an abstract psychological, non weird (ok weird) way) to see how the newbies came out of their shells - 6 hours before I had met their parents and their innocent angel faces but oh how things change when the 'rents leave - I'm never having children. 

Bar crawl tonight! - Letting the rabbits, rangers and ravers into a club, after several rounds of drinking games and a formal dinner things could get not messy, but chaotic! - WOOHOO, can't wait. 

//P.S. to all the people I have promised a mention to I will get round to it! I'm just concocting the best post ya see 

Stay safe Fresher! (and reps!) 

RHS x

What happened last night?

2:30am - Scream.

This post is called "What happened last night" because that was the content of the first text received from my friend first thing this morning...

Ah, THE wednesday night. Scream. Derby. 

'Scream Dream' - Unfortunately, its not all a dream. 

"Who do you think we'll see tonight" 

"I don't think many people are out" 

- As we sipped (downed, almost) our cocktails in Vines (JellyBaby - Vodka, raspberry fizz (which is blue!) and orange juice). 

Well weren't we wrong!

Cocktails! Vines. 

Friary (Bar attached to Scream) was swarming with people we all knew, some we wanted to see, some we avoided all eye contact with and scurried past like mice towards mature cheddar - you know how it is. But then loads of "I haven't seen you in AGES"'s and "How are you?!"'s, then the "I'll see you in there!" - never to be seen again, apart from awkward "HEY's" and a quick jive as you pass each other on the way to the toilet - you know how it is. 

It was a long night. I documented it - most of it. I don't really have super power memory! Here is what I documented (I won't tell you what I can remember and what I can't but my notes tell me I wasn't in a perfect state of mind as my English looks like slight Russian-cum-Tanzanian)

I attempted to get my six pack out to 'Mysterious Girl' - the DJ said "get your six pack out!" - I don't have a six pack and thanks to my top tucked into my shorts I struggled to untuck it. No flashing occurred - thank God. Thank you God. 

My famous saying of "on a scale of one to ten" came back, several times, several times too many "On a scale of one to ten how much is a shot of Apple Sours?", "On a scale of one to ten, how many people are in here that you don't want to see?" - see, they don't even make sense. One did: "on a scale of one to ten, what are my chances..." - I'll stop there. 

My friend lost her phone. iPhone 5 to be exact, so no big deal really. There was a fight, a meagre fight at that - still a "fight" (cat fight) and her phone got thrown out of her hand. But she was a little tipsy and couldn't quite understand what to do. Thankfully, (Thank you God) a very nice boy (In a "blazer and white shirt" - as he described) rang my phone (clearly looked on recent calls - clever boy) and came and kindly returned it - That my friends, was lucky (hope he wasn't expecting a drink).

3:15am - Yes, this is a man with this fists to a taxi.

Hmm, the sensitive topic of boyfriends, girlfriends, exs and "friends" - I won't go into that. Not really much to report... The DJ slowed the pace at about 2:15am with 'Angels' and yeah I didn't write this bit down so I'm not so sure... But it was that part of the night where "I love you!" is whispered to your friends and you all hug and dance... "A month and we'll be separated - till Christmas!" - It was emotional at the time - We've all been there. 

Then, I did the unspeakable (after two shots), I had a pizza (ok, it was just two slices - "just"). I had pizza. Pizza. Pizza. It is a fantastic job that I am gracing the gym with my presence later - I used to never go into those places - "takeaways"? - now I'm eating out of them! - Its been great knowing you all. It was however, very pleasing to see other girls tucking into takeaways - who said it was summer anyway?! 

Also I want to say thank you to all the people that said they have read and are enjoying my blog last night! - THANKS! 

Luckily I didn't wake up with a baby or a tiger in my bathroom (did others?), or a hangover! - I know, I'm superwoman (I should be after the amount I drank, I mean very little that I drank!). It was a very good night nevertheless and I bumped into people I haven't seen for years, waved at people very awkwardly, said "swap places in one, two three" many times to avoid eye contact, danced like a mad baboon and had a dream that I was trying to get into St. Andrew's university to study Psychology - I knew the pizza was a bad idea. 

RHS x

University secrets

This could be interesting... 

Durham University, Queens Campus, Stockton-on-Tees (yep, the North East - don't knock it!) 

"where's all the fit lads?" 

"why is it 78.4% girls?"- the questions all the girls were asking each other 

"I'm in heaven"

"where did I store my condoms?" - what the lads were saying 

its University, most people meet the person they spend the rest of their lives with at uni, of course this is what people were thinking! 

Never have I ever 

Ok, it took me several weeks to understand the rules of this game 

NB: drink when you HAVE done what someone says they "never have" 

(there have been occasions when I have drank to things such as "never have I ever had a threesome" - I haven't, honest) 

This game often involved many people "dropping out" at certain points, 

especially when one boy dropped the "never have I ever masturbated" bomb - silence (at least wait till year 2 for those types!) 

Can you keep a secret?

Wow, the times I have heard this, 

"of course" - the majority of people do! 

Any juicy gossip? - no chance and I mean NO CHANCE. 

keep things to yourself as much as you can, I definitely learned that way! 

choose your 'secret keepers' wisely

Gossip Girl

Yes, really, a Durham University Gossip Girl Twitter account was set up, I was a suspect (just because my window was perfectly positioned to see most goings on - it wasn't me, unfortunately!) 

This caused uproar! 

It was publicly posted when X was seen leaving Y's block etc... you get the picture. 

Again, being an undercover agent is best at Uni, 

The "Who can sleep with the whole of campus" game 

I didn't enter, I was too busy revising all the time, yep all the time - even at Christmas when we didn't even have exams 

Some people got a reputation though - if you're a lad, great (not really, but whatever), if you're a girl, oh dear. 

BUT - as I say (you may quote me) "Those that matter don't mind and those that mind, don't matter" (Smith, R. 2013) 

You're friends won't care who you get around with - makes nights in much more interesting (or the morning afters, or tbh that night after the action!!) 

Just try not to upset people - I've seen it happen and its a dog eat dog world (or lad sleeps with girl, is a prick, moves on, girls gets upset - standard, but sad) 

NB: twister? its never twister... where is there space to fit a twister mat? - exactly! 

Best time ever (not best song ever)

It is literally amazing at Uni, everyone should go, just for the experience (life that is!)

It goes far too fast though. And now, onto the second year, I'm hoping and praying (please God) that the partying does continue and the friends keep on coming! (as in, I get more, friends that is, jeez)

• Middlesbrough Empire Saturdays - wow, keep dancing till 4am 
• Photo bomb as many pictures as you can - especially in freshers
• Try anything! (except that - you might hurt yourself)
• Take Berocca - or grow an orangery 
• Don't pay for a TV license in halls (naughty) 

RHS x