Derby to Durham and the crazy people aboard this train

I'm 30 minutes from my destination and this train journey has been one of my more interesting. There's a festival in Edinburgh this weekend (as everyone in the SILENT coach felt the need to talk about) So the train is packed. It's ok I have Lana to listen to. 

So a man was sat in my seat when I got on the train but said that was his seat. Unless you're going where I'm

Going - which I hope not- you're in my seat. I have a ticket! Good job he can't read this. He's too engrossed in learning English, as he attempts out loud "no thank you I do not want apples", "where is the nearest pet shop". Deary me. 

A women has rejected a "treat yourself" (the waiter was far too happy) pastry because I was eating a banana. A very odd way to explain your "no". 

A grandma is taking her grand kids to York to go to a million places, all of which she decided to tell me whilst I was reading Pride and Prejudice. Bad move grandma, she was friendly though. She gave them A LOT of biscuits and sweets and, were they tortilla chips? Oh no the salsa is coming out- to a 5 year old?! Cue tomato and chilli all over the seat. I'm giving my children fruit bowls. Mean mother- there shall be no hyper children in my house. 

Did I mention me and children in the same sentence? I am going mad. 

And a man Inquiring about first class because coach F is apparently too "common" for him. I'm reading Jane Austen and you're readying the Sun. Classy. 

Weekend away- can't wait! - get me off this train though. 

RHS x

What happened last night?

2:30am - Scream.

This post is called "What happened last night" because that was the content of the first text received from my friend first thing this morning...

Ah, THE wednesday night. Scream. Derby. 

'Scream Dream' - Unfortunately, its not all a dream. 

"Who do you think we'll see tonight" 

"I don't think many people are out" 

- As we sipped (downed, almost) our cocktails in Vines (JellyBaby - Vodka, raspberry fizz (which is blue!) and orange juice). 

Well weren't we wrong!

Cocktails! Vines. 

Friary (Bar attached to Scream) was swarming with people we all knew, some we wanted to see, some we avoided all eye contact with and scurried past like mice towards mature cheddar - you know how it is. But then loads of "I haven't seen you in AGES"'s and "How are you?!"'s, then the "I'll see you in there!" - never to be seen again, apart from awkward "HEY's" and a quick jive as you pass each other on the way to the toilet - you know how it is. 

It was a long night. I documented it - most of it. I don't really have super power memory! Here is what I documented (I won't tell you what I can remember and what I can't but my notes tell me I wasn't in a perfect state of mind as my English looks like slight Russian-cum-Tanzanian)

I attempted to get my six pack out to 'Mysterious Girl' - the DJ said "get your six pack out!" - I don't have a six pack and thanks to my top tucked into my shorts I struggled to untuck it. No flashing occurred - thank God. Thank you God. 

My famous saying of "on a scale of one to ten" came back, several times, several times too many "On a scale of one to ten how much is a shot of Apple Sours?", "On a scale of one to ten, how many people are in here that you don't want to see?" - see, they don't even make sense. One did: "on a scale of one to ten, what are my chances..." - I'll stop there. 

My friend lost her phone. iPhone 5 to be exact, so no big deal really. There was a fight, a meagre fight at that - still a "fight" (cat fight) and her phone got thrown out of her hand. But she was a little tipsy and couldn't quite understand what to do. Thankfully, (Thank you God) a very nice boy (In a "blazer and white shirt" - as he described) rang my phone (clearly looked on recent calls - clever boy) and came and kindly returned it - That my friends, was lucky (hope he wasn't expecting a drink).

3:15am - Yes, this is a man with this fists to a taxi.

Hmm, the sensitive topic of boyfriends, girlfriends, exs and "friends" - I won't go into that. Not really much to report... The DJ slowed the pace at about 2:15am with 'Angels' and yeah I didn't write this bit down so I'm not so sure... But it was that part of the night where "I love you!" is whispered to your friends and you all hug and dance... "A month and we'll be separated - till Christmas!" - It was emotional at the time - We've all been there. 

Then, I did the unspeakable (after two shots), I had a pizza (ok, it was just two slices - "just"). I had pizza. Pizza. Pizza. It is a fantastic job that I am gracing the gym with my presence later - I used to never go into those places - "takeaways"? - now I'm eating out of them! - Its been great knowing you all. It was however, very pleasing to see other girls tucking into takeaways - who said it was summer anyway?! 

Also I want to say thank you to all the people that said they have read and are enjoying my blog last night! - THANKS! 

Luckily I didn't wake up with a baby or a tiger in my bathroom (did others?), or a hangover! - I know, I'm superwoman (I should be after the amount I drank, I mean very little that I drank!). It was a very good night nevertheless and I bumped into people I haven't seen for years, waved at people very awkwardly, said "swap places in one, two three" many times to avoid eye contact, danced like a mad baboon and had a dream that I was trying to get into St. Andrew's university to study Psychology - I knew the pizza was a bad idea. 

RHS x