Tuesday is the day of rest

I'm exhausted. I actually have done very little today, there isn't much to do when you have no car and your parents are at work till 7pm each evening and the only friends you have near is 17 baa-ing sheep. 

However, I have actually been quite productive. I woke up at 8am - I'm quite shocked - from another nightmare! That is the second in two nights, hmm... anyway I couldn't get back to sleep so I got up had my thick porridge with honey, read four pages of last months ELLE magazine that I haven't got round to reading yet and jumped in the shower, threw on some clothes and decided it was time to finish my application for L'Oréal. I started this on 27th November, it said I had till 30th December so there was no rush. I got to the stage where it asked me for my CV and decided to save it there and come back. BUT I have finally submitted my whole application, I have also managed to apply to two more summer internships - Actually that does sound rather productive, one with a recruitment consultancy company and one with a bank in retail general management. 

After that I did feel quite accomplished, although when I received an email from all three saying I had to wait to hear anything till 12th January I was a bit like oh... great! Oh well... no online psychometric tests till then, which means I have plenty of time to start revising. Which I did, after a 30 minute walk in knee-deep mud and sheep and a tuna sandwich. I sat down to Law. It took me two hours to read eleven pages of the textbook (half a chapter, not even one lecture), not because I'm a slow reader or because I couldn't be bothered but because the stupid thing is so text heavy it almost sent me to sleep. 

So I stopped, ate two crackers with Wensleydale and cranberry cheese, a fruit salad, a GÜ pot, a banana, a biscuit and the last two days of my advent calendar (plus the cardboard). It sounds a lot but not really... hopefully we're having a full boar tonight, I'm so hungry! So then I wrapped mother and father's present and put them under the sagging Christmas tree (its a real one and its boughs are almost on the floor... we can barely fit presents underneath).

Two hours later, here I am, awaiting my mother's arrival home for some actual human communication (as opposed to Lady Gaga who tried to bite my hand off when I fed her, after which I got very itchy eyes and sneezed for about an hour). I am convinced I am going to start some more Law, but I just really cannot be bothered. 

I'm definitely feeling Love Actually tonight.

RHS x 

p.s. Congratulations to Natalie for passing her driving test. I'm so proud!xxx 

9 days in 1 post

We three Kings of Orient are... bearing tans we traverse afar...

Its been 9 days, 50 shades of pink, brown and black, 2 aeroplane rides, over 20 tube rides, too many cocktails, overdosing on sun and my first girls holiday.

Spain; Mijas to be precise, Mijas was incredible - so quaint and pretty, but Marbella (30 minutes away) wasn't what we expected!! Its great if you like paying €8 a cocktail, being chatted up by 12 year olds and where the busiest club is a gay bar. Oooh, pizza slice is only €2.50 though! - fresh too. mm.

I've been begged to write this blog post - it won't be easy fitting 178 hours into one post... but here goes!!

So, Spain it was, we were very lucky to be able to stay in our friends' apartment high up in the beautiful hills of La Cala de Mijas.

The wildlife wasn't so lovely - were talking frogs in the pool, loads of screams over killer, sorry "killer" wasps, a toad and when I say toad, I mean, like, a toad. And a cricket, that clearly loved us SO much it didn't want us to leave. It was huge, I - obviously being the bravest... - was told to sort out this cricket with its massive jumping legs blocking our only exit route - I was like ha no thanks so down two floors it was - in the lift of course as a dead frog was blocking stairs - to the car park, sorry the opening set in Saw I, II, III, IV, V, VI and VII. Don't ask how we managed to get out - I still can't remember.

nice tan!

We enjoyed Mojitos, mojito sorbet, Simon - heheheheee - ahh, sangria, pervy policemen, nice english ice cream shop owners, too much WIFI, red hot sand, blue sea, no lifeguards and enough rosé to take far too many photos. Don't go on my facebook.

As I basked in olive oil, some call it Piz Buin? fellow girls were burning in scorching heat - when I say burning I mean tan lines that look like a hand print, very odd. Now with my heritage - don't ask - I finished the holiday on SPF 6 Tanning Oil but still had SPF 15 on my face - who wants UV sun spots, wrinkles and sun damage? - not me! but Miss Ireland (pseudonym - not even from Ireland but would fit in nicely) thought it would be so wise to stick to the SPF 30, bless, feel for you babes! - it will brown x

Marbella, its not great - lets be really honest, its overpriced, shops aren't great "Où est le H et M?" (I know thats French, do I look like I even know a word in Spanish?!), but there was a Zara - 1 point - everyone goes because of that awful orange programme - The Only Way Is an Excuse to go to Marbs - has anyone else noticed they are always on a boat in that show - thats because Marbella isn't all "that" - "that" being nothing to begin with. Simmer the hype - old school.

We ate carbs in Marbs - is that allowed? We ate carbs before Marbs... because were sensible girls who know that not eating carbs means that the body will begin to store everything you eat and burn it off as sugar, meaning you will just get fatter - something like that anyway - Dr Delbridge?

Ok, so we went late in the "pardy season" but we expected a buz - yes? - no. Dead, ok, not dead, there weren't lots of flies everywhere but no where got busy till 12:30am! and we got to Marbella (pronounced MarbeLLa apps - the Spanish are SO common) at 9:30pm - haha, amateurs - but its ok, because there was Wifi...

I finished reading Oscar Wilde and started reading Charlotte Brontë, got into Kendrick Lamar - as in, started to like his music, obvs - "diiiiiive in", bought cheap, cheap vodka, made a "sex on the beach" cocktail out of vodka, apricot liquor, redcurrent juice and orange juice - 50% right, drank WKD - mate this stuff is better than Herbal Essences, cooked risotto with no stock - call me Jesus, had to put up with the next door neighbours smoking cannabis at ridiculous times and they had a young girl! - shocking, but the worst, the icing on the cake, the worst way to end the week (9 day week) was when it was announced: "SHALL WE WATCH HIGH SCHOOL MUSICL 3?!" - to which I laughed so much I fell off the balcony, not really but I wish I did, or I wish that Cady pushed my in front of a bus because that film is so CRINGEY, in fact, there is no word in the OED to describe it. I mean, really? - of course you're that obsessed with a girl, you will "drive" 1063 miles (or whatever was in that horrific song) to pick her up when she's told you she's not interested - move on boi, and of course you can just enter your school at midnight and sing "scream" (he sang "scream" - he didn't scream, oh wait, he did) and bump into your drama teacher, yeah whatever - and of course you're 18 and say goodbye to your girlfriend with a hug and of course - I can't even remember, I don't want to. All I know is that my cat could have written a better script and better songs and I don't even have a cat - basically thin air could have written it better. Awful. But - the good news, drum roll - the standard "how much weight have I put on whilst on holiday" - now, no joke it was about 9lbs when I got back from France - cheese and wine is just FAR too incredible - so it was the moment of truth this morning - 1lb everyone, 1lb! did everyone see that - So impressed with myself so I treated my mother to afternoon tea - ideal daughter over here. 

Ahh, so to finish with the best sentence of the week - "J'ai perdu mon sac a la gare" - say with a Chinese accent on "gare" - bien - Oui, plus français 

A few final tips from Ruth: 1. if you fly with Easy Jet, take ear plugs, not just because of the screaming babies and shushing mums and the noisy hostesses - or hosts (odd), equality and all that but because of the constant drone on the tannoy - "give to charity!", "blow into the tube to inflate!", "buy e-cigaretts", "Easy Jet BISTRO!", "*spanish words*" - how about YOU JUST DRIVE (or fly, what is the word to operate a plane?) AND I JUST TRY AND SLEEP?! 2. I have a great friend who can get a great price on hair braids. 3. Don't leave your mobile phone in your pocket when walking through a security gate, or leave a bottle of water in your bag! (ahh, fun and games eh). 4. Don't have a dog allergy if you arrive into Gatwick, or don't carry drugs in a pregnancy bump (was the woman for real?!) because those black four legged sniffing canines will smell every part of you and nuzzle their nose everywhere and not have to ask first!. 4. Spanish chicken isn't great and DO NOT drink the water - sad moment with carrot juice and tap water comes to mind. aw. 

Ahh, 

I don't know any Spanish so I'll finish in Afrikaans - my native language 

lief vir julle almal

and for the common English - "I am your father" 

Lol jk. Love you all! 

RHS x 

I have officially fallen in love...

The beautiful La Rochelle

He's 6ft, blonde, blue eyes, worthy of my standards of physique...

HA, joke.... 


I've falled in Love with the west of France... 

Its taken nearly 20 years and about 24 trips to the same part of the country. 

The west coast; Around La Rochelle, Cognac, Royan - the dessert chef at work says La Rochelle is the best town in France and he's French. 

I have finally learnt to love France. 

Who could not love a week of great cheese, amazing wine, beautiful coastline, cheap La Roche-Posay (seriously get yourself to France for amazing skincare), hot weather and a lifeguard every 4ft on the beach. I promise, I didn't pretend to drown once...


I used to dislike France because it started to get cold there - like a British summer the weather can be very unpredictable - but even more so. Two years ago we were sunbathing at 10am because there was torrential rain due at 1pm and then we were back out sunbathing at 3pm for the rest of the day - very odd. 

But the last week has been nothing but burning sunshine and I'm glad I am over the age of unaccompanied travel because I am no longer of a British heritage and more Northern African and no longer related to my mother - Thanks Piz Buin! 

We know a large French family who we lunch with at least once during our stay - they own an island within a river in Cognac - I know, we are very lucky (its 20 minutes away from the Grey Goose distillery!), and this time we were treated to Charente melon, lemon marinated sardines on toast, the biggest pieces of fillet steak you have ever seen (there were 12 altogether for 15 people!),  homemade chips and the best green beans, followed by a lot of cheese, tarts and cakes, coffee and chocolate, all washed down with fantastic wine- oh and a few sips of the best Cognac - and company! - even if my French is a bit rusty, if not, non-existant. 

Note to self - learn French (repeat every year till you actually do) 

Outside the Grey Goose distillery

So I have bought a 400ml bottle of La Roche-Posay Physiological Micellar Solution  which is £11 in Boots for 200ml and I got a 400ml bottle for €11(about £9.50 - bargain!), I've put on about six pounds, my hair has grown from the sun, I've been back 24 hours and have spent a ridiculous amount shopping and burnt about 600 calories in the gym. I know. 

So, in a week it will be Summer Holiday Part 2 as two friends and I depart for Spain (thats after we have got to our friends house in Surrey - which means taking the underground. HAHA - will we ever get to spain?!) 

If you've been "dragged" to the same place for your summer holidays with your family don't hate it! Love it! - atleast you're spending time with your family and these times will definately be the ones to look back on

Bon voyage mes petites chéries

See, I can speak French... a bit... 

RHS x

And so, I begin my holiday prep

I have finished work, had a great nights sleep and completed my daily 15 minute abdominal routine. Therefore, there is only two things left to do - go on holiday and of course, prep. 

This isn't your standard night out prep, this is full on "I'm going on holiday, I need the world to know" prep. Like a Strawberry Pavolova on a night out but an M&S Strawberry Pavlova for holiday. 

This is big - the girls are with me. 

I will be jet setting to the beautiful South-West coast of France for my 20th Summer there (and potentially my 25th time there) and prep gets more complex every time!

So here is what I shall be starting as soon as I have completed my daily 15-minute panic.

Starting with my face I shall be applying my mud mask (these are incredible and are basically clay which help to dry your skin and deep cleanse your pores - which is great to avoid getting spots from hot weather - best applied after a shower when your pores are open) 

Then because I have large pores on my face I shall use a Boots Tea Tree and Witch Hazel Nose Pore Strip to give the pores around my nose an extra clean and remove any blackheads or grease - nice. 

In the shower I shall be using a VO5 Hot Oil which you place in a mug of very hot water and apply before shampooing - it makes hair silky soft and very easy to handle. 

I will then be giving my legs and bum a very good scrub with Fat Girl Scrub (this isn't just for fat people! its great for smoothing and removing any dead skin - use before shaving but be careful not to be too abrasive) 

I use Boots Smooth Care Shave Gel Sensitive as it is the best I have found - even out of the branded gels and I use Wilkinson Sword Hydro Razor - I have heard the new Venus Razor with Olay is very good too! 

Out of the shower I shall apply Fat Girl Slim which will help to even my skin even more for photo ready legs!  

Then, its time for wax, wax, wax - really there is nothing to be scared of - we don't want a Miranda on 'Sex and the City' moment do we? - that was embarrassing! - it doesn't hurt one tiny bit - I've tried many home waxing kits for 'delicate areas' and this Jolen Salon Formula Microwave Wax is the gentlest I have used - I do have quite a high pain threshold when it comes to these sorts of things! - but a bikini wax at a salon is usually only around £7-£12 if you want to have an expert have a go first! - A day before you go use Skin Doctors Ingrow Go formula to remove any stubbornness! - enjoy! 

Mani and Pedi time! WOOHOO 

I recently did a post on 'Newspaper Nails' if you fancy something more arty - I have also written in this blog about how to remove cuticles safely.

I have Boots Soothing Gel Foot Mask which is incredible: remove any previous nail varnish, soak your feet in hot bubbly water, dry and apply a thick layer of the mask, leave to dry for 10 minutes then soak off again, dry feet and paint nails! 

I am going to use my very hard wearing Essie in Snap Happy #244 for my toes and then just a coat of Boots Base Coat and a coat of Boots Top Coat for my nails as finger nails get chipped very easily on holiday - I have spoilt many a £20 mani by going away! - so settle for a shiny coat to add a bit of something to your nails! 

Then just as I start to get very excited about 10pm I will apply a good helping of Fat Girl Slim Sleep which Bliss have to very kindly added lavender too and it smells delicious! - smoothing and soothing all in one. Ahhhhhhh 

So, beauty aside, I have downloaded the latest issue of Vogue onto my iPad (£2.99 on the iPad but £3.99 from a shop), downloaded The Picture of Dorian Grey - Oscar Wilde and made a summer playlist - which is potentially too embarassing to share with you... but to stop you guessing it includes 'Superstar' by Jamelia - classic

and also 'Work' by Iggy Azalea - amazing.

I have put my favourite TV programmes on to record: 'Hotel Hell' with Gordon Ramsay and 'Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model' - because I want Sarah to win! 

And don't forget to watch Mo Farah run in the 5,000m final on Friday at 5:15pm (6:15pm if you're in France, like me) if you listen hard enough you will probably hear me screaming at the TV. 

If you're going away anywhere, enjoy and don't forget your prep!

Love

RHS x

Derby to Durham and the crazy people aboard this train

I'm 30 minutes from my destination and this train journey has been one of my more interesting. There's a festival in Edinburgh this weekend (as everyone in the SILENT coach felt the need to talk about) So the train is packed. It's ok I have Lana to listen to. 

So a man was sat in my seat when I got on the train but said that was his seat. Unless you're going where I'm

Going - which I hope not- you're in my seat. I have a ticket! Good job he can't read this. He's too engrossed in learning English, as he attempts out loud "no thank you I do not want apples", "where is the nearest pet shop". Deary me. 

A women has rejected a "treat yourself" (the waiter was far too happy) pastry because I was eating a banana. A very odd way to explain your "no". 

A grandma is taking her grand kids to York to go to a million places, all of which she decided to tell me whilst I was reading Pride and Prejudice. Bad move grandma, she was friendly though. She gave them A LOT of biscuits and sweets and, were they tortilla chips? Oh no the salsa is coming out- to a 5 year old?! Cue tomato and chilli all over the seat. I'm giving my children fruit bowls. Mean mother- there shall be no hyper children in my house. 

Did I mention me and children in the same sentence? I am going mad. 

And a man Inquiring about first class because coach F is apparently too "common" for him. I'm reading Jane Austen and you're readying the Sun. Classy. 

Weekend away- can't wait! - get me off this train though. 

RHS x

My top 5 summer beauty buys

Summer is still here! And I'm yet to go away! 

Here's the products I'll be packing...

Piz Buin Tan and Protect Accelerating Oil 

This oil is incredible. Not only does it look like you've been dunked into a greasy chip pan (I did go ott on the application one day) but it also makes the whole cast of Geordie Shore green with envy!

It can also be used to give your legs extra sheen on a night out! - several benefits, always a bonus. 

Really, its that good. I used SPF 6 but they do make it in SPF 15! (please don't burn!) 

Its currently BUY ONE GET ONE FREE AT BOOTS!

Avene Thermale Spring Water

I first disovered this on one of my many summer holidays to France. 

Our French friends were raving over it, so I bought some in France 3 years ago and have used it ever since!

Its great for sensitive skin - great for any red patches after sunbathing! 

It balances the skin's pH and leaves a soft complexion. 

It can be used for everything and everything: after the gym to cool you down (really does work!), or on the beach, after shaving, after beauty regimes such as waxing. 

Its currently £10 at boots but Escentual are selling the 300ml bottle (lasts all year!) for £9, there are also smaller sizes handy for hand luggage! 

Piz Buin Aftersun Tan Intensifier 

(have you noticed I'm a bit of a Piz Buin lover - they have the best sun products I've ever used) 

So, if you still don't have the Geordie Shore cast running after you with jealousy - this will make them run!

Its not a fake tan but it has ingredients (including Vitamin E - to soothe any sun stresses on the skin) to promote your natural tanning ability - so the next day you're ready to bronze again! 

Its also great after you have left your holiday, or the summer is over because your tan lasts a lot longer due to the 24hr Hydration which is essential to prolonging your tan! 

Its better than half price at Superdrug at £5.24

Wella SP Sun UV Protection Spray

You've landed in Bora Bora, or Faliraki, where ever, with your new head of highlights and after a day in the sun your hair is dry and faded.

You need to protect your hair aswell!

I don't colour my hair but I always use this when I go abroad - the Suns rays are a lot more powerful in Europe and Northern-Southern Africa so this spray is an essential! 

I have also found the spray is good for swimming as well - it stops the chlorine from drying and hardening your hair 

Smells AMAZING also! - great if you're sweating off your Piz Buin - nice. 

It isn't greasy so won't make your bouffant look diabolical - in fact its like a shine enhancing hairspray - another 2in1 - I know, I'm incredible. 

Its curently £10.76 at Beauty Bay.com with free delivery! 

Honey, Marc Jacobs

Ahh the difficulty in choosing a Summer fragrance - I've found it - and I found it only yesterday when a free sample came in this months Elle magazine subscription - An amazing moment 

I've never really been a fan of MJ's perfumes over the years - but this one is a BEAUTY, obviously MJ's are never cheap but they are SO worth it - I'll be first in line for mine over the weekend! 

The only thing I know about top and middle and bottom notes are that on a Piano - nevertheless 'The Fragrance Shop' says it has:

1.  Top notes of pear, mandarin and orange
2. Heart notes (what?!) of orange blossom (if you know what that is), peach and honey suckle (aw) 
3. Base notes (dubstep?) of honey and vanilla

AHA! - the base notes, thats what I could smell, it isn't particularly floral (hence most of the notes being fruit!) but its sweet but not sickly - it will be easy to wear by the pool (if you must waste it by swimming!) and of an evening!

Its got a golden sparkle about it

50ml at The Fragrance Shop is £49.50 (50p less than RRP - bargain...) you do get a free make up bag!

100ml = £67.50

50ml at Life and Looks is £41! (no make-up bag... sigh) 

Pricey but I don't care - I love it (hmm, I should make that into a song) 

-

Ahh, summer - now you can enjoy it with my best buys!

Happy Shopping! - please feel free to share any of your favourite summer buys (Tweet me  @RuthHannahSmith)

Love

RHS x

Fitness Thursday #1 Get that bikini bum!

Lets get straight down to it (squat girl, squat)

1. HIP LIFTS 

-Lie on your back with legs bent, feet slightly apart

-Lift hips as high as you can 

-SQUEEZE your gluteus (backside) as hard as you can 

-Release 

DO: 30 reps, 3 sets 

keep shoulders on the floor

2. SQUATS, WITH WEIGHTS (3-6kg)

-Stand in an upright position, weights by your sides

-Squat low so that your thighs are parallel to the floor

-Squeeze

Do: 15 reps, 3 sets 

keep back straight and chest up, don't look down

3. WOOD CHOP 

-Stand with legs wide apart, hold dumbbells down

-Bend at hip, keep back flat 

-Stand and repeat

Do: 15 reps, 3 sets

keep legs straight the whole time 

4. 1 LEG CLOCK SQUAT 

-Stand on one leg, the other bent at the knee

-Squat with one leg to 10 o'clock

-Stand, Squat with the same leg at 11 o'clock

-Repeat for 12, 1 and 2 

Do: One set on one leg and then repeat with the other leg x2

Squat slowly

5. MODIFIED SIDE PLANK LEG LIFT

-Enter a side plank position as shown with the bottom leg bent

-Slowly raise the top leg, hold and lower

Do: 12 reps on each leg x2 

 Repeat these exercises at least 5 times a week for the best results!

Happy Squatting!

RHS x

5:2

5:2? 

5:2? 

5 cookies for every 2 doughnuts?

Butternut squash risotto = 240 calories! 

5 pairs of shoes for every 2 new dresses?
5 nights out for every 2 nights staying in and drinking anyway?

er, not quite, its the 5:2 diet! yes, diet. (when friends read this I will probably get told off - sorry!)

Its this new craze thats everywhere! (apparently) and basically you starve yourself for 2 days of only 500 calories (ahh, 5:2 I hear you say)

Created by Dr. Micheal Mosely (of course, a man - http://thefastdiet.co.uk) the idea is that fasting helps you burn more fat by giving your body time to get rid of the rubbish it doesn't need. yeah. whatever. 

Now, for a runner this sounded a bit mental, seeing as when I train (good joke, Ruth), when I attempt to train (by looking like I know what I'm doing in the gym) I consume around 2300 calories a day. 

So, like the mad head I am, I gave it ago. Well. I have never felt so sh1t, if you will excuse my terrible Russian. 

I decided to do 1 day a week (5:1, far more sensible). I was working the night before and finished work at 3am, and from 12am I made sure I stopped eating, so I went to bed without my usual 2 biscuits after work and woke up at 11am. 

I had porridge with soya milk for breakfast = 144 calories, ok. 

I didn't have lunch, as I was up so late. I was at work at 6pm that evening so I thought between 11am and 6pm I could easily only have 500 calories, 



Around 4pm I had chicken satay skewers with spinach = 290 calories
  (recipe: http://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/dieting/recipes/52-bikini-panic-diet-recipes-1967236)

Then I had an Activia yogurt = 68 calories 

Total = 502, oops. 

As you can see, its hard! 

So I got to work and by 10pm I felt like a hairy Neanderthal, who had woken up with severe period pain - nice. I felt awful and got home at 12:30am and weighed myself. 

My friend, tucking into a late night takeaway! -
why not!

I HAD LOST A POUND. not joking, I wouldn't lie to you. 

the idea is that you eat 500 calories for 2 days a week and "normally" for the remaining 5 (i.e. 2000 calories a day) and that you workout for 30 minutes for 3 of the 5 days. 

Its worth it, apparently you lose up to 2lbs a week in the first week then a lb a week after that.

Is starving ourselves the way forward to looking good or losing weight? 
That sounds like a bad case of "Im Dior, I need size -6 models not 0, Chanel has them!" 

know what I mean?

stay healthy and happy!

RHS x