The most wonderful time of the year

Nigella's taking cocaine, Ryan Giggs has turned 40 (insert love or hatred for him here), Christmas trees are going up, lights are being turned on, Christmas songs are being played in stores, Movember is nearly, NEARLY over (cannot come quick enough!), my Christmas jumper has made its first appearance and yes, I have downloaded my Christmas album onto my iPod - however, I haven't yet listened to them (much). In my house the Christmas decorations go up around the 16th December, after my birthday, of course and we usually just have a modest tree and a nativity scene, however at Uni, as we are only here for two weeks of December, decorations have been up for nearly a week. Essays are due in, there are nights out to be had, naked calendar launches to be squinted at, birthdays to celebrate, secret Santa's, one too many glasses of mulled wine and an unhealthy amount of mince pies to be consumed. As well as about four traditional Christmas meals to be had before actual Christmas day. My mother rang me the other day to say she had ordered our turkey from a colleague who's husband owns a farm, she has called it Ethel and Ethel shall be £40. Forty pounds?! We'll have three... 

It is essentially time to start buying presents. I have already bought my flat mates' presents, they are hiding under my desk, away from prying eyes, awaiting to be wrapped. Talking of wrapping paper, B&M has the best deal: 12 metres for £1 - incredible, however, if you want a variety of wrapping paper, Card Factory are doing 3x3metre rolls for £1 - take your pick! B&M also do a box of four wrapping paper rolls with lots of bows and ribbons for £4.99 - I've done my research. I'm so sad. Its procrastination at its best. Boots also has Maximuscle Progain on offer HALF PRICE (£25) - so tempting. 

Two weeks now till it is the end of term (and my birthday woop) and although I went home last weekend there is always something nice about home (and the fresh air, free from ill Stockton-ers, someone in the shopping centre today just sneezed and didn't cover his mouth as I walked past. What is this country). There is always Ben and Jerry's in my favourite flavour - Blondie Brownie and food is on tap with a quick text to Dad asking him to pick up goats cheese, pâte and a small amount of caviar (only joking! we don't eat pâte that much). I have the house to myself in the day and it is so quiet. No one having far too much fun in the room above mine, no locals getting arrested outside, a clean kitchen and bathroom and not having to worry about how much electricity is being used. Bliss. 

I almost can't believe how fast this year has gone (yawnnn), yesterday I was at work for NYE, then I was in an exam hall, then I was in Marbella and now I am writing Christmas cards and finding the best wrapping paper deals - I'm actually an old lady, after all, my name is Ruth (expectation: Ruth sits quietly by the fire and knits, reality: Ruth sits by the fire (at home, obvs) and reads E.M.Forster... completely different people). 

The gym will also be packed after Christmas and the "post-Christmas lunch" workouts will go up with challenges including "run for four hours just to burn off one mince pie" - basically meaning I feel claustrophobic in the gym. Just don't eat too much! Last year was hilarious when I got a training schedule from Athletics for over the Christmas holidays which said "a steady 30 minute run on Christmas day is essential" - Sorry, what? Do we think Jesus would approve of missing his birthday for a training session, definitely not, I'll miss the jelly and ice cream. ha. 

I'm not saying M**** C********* before the 1st December, therefore, 

Much Love! 

RHS x 

9 days in 1 post

We three Kings of Orient are... bearing tans we traverse afar...

Its been 9 days, 50 shades of pink, brown and black, 2 aeroplane rides, over 20 tube rides, too many cocktails, overdosing on sun and my first girls holiday.

Spain; Mijas to be precise, Mijas was incredible - so quaint and pretty, but Marbella (30 minutes away) wasn't what we expected!! Its great if you like paying €8 a cocktail, being chatted up by 12 year olds and where the busiest club is a gay bar. Oooh, pizza slice is only €2.50 though! - fresh too. mm.

I've been begged to write this blog post - it won't be easy fitting 178 hours into one post... but here goes!!

So, Spain it was, we were very lucky to be able to stay in our friends' apartment high up in the beautiful hills of La Cala de Mijas.

The wildlife wasn't so lovely - were talking frogs in the pool, loads of screams over killer, sorry "killer" wasps, a toad and when I say toad, I mean, like, a toad. And a cricket, that clearly loved us SO much it didn't want us to leave. It was huge, I - obviously being the bravest... - was told to sort out this cricket with its massive jumping legs blocking our only exit route - I was like ha no thanks so down two floors it was - in the lift of course as a dead frog was blocking stairs - to the car park, sorry the opening set in Saw I, II, III, IV, V, VI and VII. Don't ask how we managed to get out - I still can't remember.

nice tan!

We enjoyed Mojitos, mojito sorbet, Simon - heheheheee - ahh, sangria, pervy policemen, nice english ice cream shop owners, too much WIFI, red hot sand, blue sea, no lifeguards and enough rosé to take far too many photos. Don't go on my facebook.

As I basked in olive oil, some call it Piz Buin? fellow girls were burning in scorching heat - when I say burning I mean tan lines that look like a hand print, very odd. Now with my heritage - don't ask - I finished the holiday on SPF 6 Tanning Oil but still had SPF 15 on my face - who wants UV sun spots, wrinkles and sun damage? - not me! but Miss Ireland (pseudonym - not even from Ireland but would fit in nicely) thought it would be so wise to stick to the SPF 30, bless, feel for you babes! - it will brown x

Marbella, its not great - lets be really honest, its overpriced, shops aren't great "Où est le H et M?" (I know thats French, do I look like I even know a word in Spanish?!), but there was a Zara - 1 point - everyone goes because of that awful orange programme - The Only Way Is an Excuse to go to Marbs - has anyone else noticed they are always on a boat in that show - thats because Marbella isn't all "that" - "that" being nothing to begin with. Simmer the hype - old school.

We ate carbs in Marbs - is that allowed? We ate carbs before Marbs... because were sensible girls who know that not eating carbs means that the body will begin to store everything you eat and burn it off as sugar, meaning you will just get fatter - something like that anyway - Dr Delbridge?

Ok, so we went late in the "pardy season" but we expected a buz - yes? - no. Dead, ok, not dead, there weren't lots of flies everywhere but no where got busy till 12:30am! and we got to Marbella (pronounced MarbeLLa apps - the Spanish are SO common) at 9:30pm - haha, amateurs - but its ok, because there was Wifi...

I finished reading Oscar Wilde and started reading Charlotte Brontë, got into Kendrick Lamar - as in, started to like his music, obvs - "diiiiiive in", bought cheap, cheap vodka, made a "sex on the beach" cocktail out of vodka, apricot liquor, redcurrent juice and orange juice - 50% right, drank WKD - mate this stuff is better than Herbal Essences, cooked risotto with no stock - call me Jesus, had to put up with the next door neighbours smoking cannabis at ridiculous times and they had a young girl! - shocking, but the worst, the icing on the cake, the worst way to end the week (9 day week) was when it was announced: "SHALL WE WATCH HIGH SCHOOL MUSICL 3?!" - to which I laughed so much I fell off the balcony, not really but I wish I did, or I wish that Cady pushed my in front of a bus because that film is so CRINGEY, in fact, there is no word in the OED to describe it. I mean, really? - of course you're that obsessed with a girl, you will "drive" 1063 miles (or whatever was in that horrific song) to pick her up when she's told you she's not interested - move on boi, and of course you can just enter your school at midnight and sing "scream" (he sang "scream" - he didn't scream, oh wait, he did) and bump into your drama teacher, yeah whatever - and of course you're 18 and say goodbye to your girlfriend with a hug and of course - I can't even remember, I don't want to. All I know is that my cat could have written a better script and better songs and I don't even have a cat - basically thin air could have written it better. Awful. But - the good news, drum roll - the standard "how much weight have I put on whilst on holiday" - now, no joke it was about 9lbs when I got back from France - cheese and wine is just FAR too incredible - so it was the moment of truth this morning - 1lb everyone, 1lb! did everyone see that - So impressed with myself so I treated my mother to afternoon tea - ideal daughter over here. 

Ahh, so to finish with the best sentence of the week - "J'ai perdu mon sac a la gare" - say with a Chinese accent on "gare" - bien - Oui, plus français 

A few final tips from Ruth: 1. if you fly with Easy Jet, take ear plugs, not just because of the screaming babies and shushing mums and the noisy hostesses - or hosts (odd), equality and all that but because of the constant drone on the tannoy - "give to charity!", "blow into the tube to inflate!", "buy e-cigaretts", "Easy Jet BISTRO!", "*spanish words*" - how about YOU JUST DRIVE (or fly, what is the word to operate a plane?) AND I JUST TRY AND SLEEP?! 2. I have a great friend who can get a great price on hair braids. 3. Don't leave your mobile phone in your pocket when walking through a security gate, or leave a bottle of water in your bag! (ahh, fun and games eh). 4. Don't have a dog allergy if you arrive into Gatwick, or don't carry drugs in a pregnancy bump (was the woman for real?!) because those black four legged sniffing canines will smell every part of you and nuzzle their nose everywhere and not have to ask first!. 4. Spanish chicken isn't great and DO NOT drink the water - sad moment with carrot juice and tap water comes to mind. aw. 

Ahh, 

I don't know any Spanish so I'll finish in Afrikaans - my native language 

lief vir julle almal

and for the common English - "I am your father" 

Lol jk. Love you all! 

RHS x 

I have officially fallen in love...

The beautiful La Rochelle

He's 6ft, blonde, blue eyes, worthy of my standards of physique...

HA, joke.... 


I've falled in Love with the west of France... 

Its taken nearly 20 years and about 24 trips to the same part of the country. 

The west coast; Around La Rochelle, Cognac, Royan - the dessert chef at work says La Rochelle is the best town in France and he's French. 

I have finally learnt to love France. 

Who could not love a week of great cheese, amazing wine, beautiful coastline, cheap La Roche-Posay (seriously get yourself to France for amazing skincare), hot weather and a lifeguard every 4ft on the beach. I promise, I didn't pretend to drown once...


I used to dislike France because it started to get cold there - like a British summer the weather can be very unpredictable - but even more so. Two years ago we were sunbathing at 10am because there was torrential rain due at 1pm and then we were back out sunbathing at 3pm for the rest of the day - very odd. 

But the last week has been nothing but burning sunshine and I'm glad I am over the age of unaccompanied travel because I am no longer of a British heritage and more Northern African and no longer related to my mother - Thanks Piz Buin! 

We know a large French family who we lunch with at least once during our stay - they own an island within a river in Cognac - I know, we are very lucky (its 20 minutes away from the Grey Goose distillery!), and this time we were treated to Charente melon, lemon marinated sardines on toast, the biggest pieces of fillet steak you have ever seen (there were 12 altogether for 15 people!),  homemade chips and the best green beans, followed by a lot of cheese, tarts and cakes, coffee and chocolate, all washed down with fantastic wine- oh and a few sips of the best Cognac - and company! - even if my French is a bit rusty, if not, non-existant. 

Note to self - learn French (repeat every year till you actually do) 

Outside the Grey Goose distillery

So I have bought a 400ml bottle of La Roche-Posay Physiological Micellar Solution  which is £11 in Boots for 200ml and I got a 400ml bottle for €11(about £9.50 - bargain!), I've put on about six pounds, my hair has grown from the sun, I've been back 24 hours and have spent a ridiculous amount shopping and burnt about 600 calories in the gym. I know. 

So, in a week it will be Summer Holiday Part 2 as two friends and I depart for Spain (thats after we have got to our friends house in Surrey - which means taking the underground. HAHA - will we ever get to spain?!) 

If you've been "dragged" to the same place for your summer holidays with your family don't hate it! Love it! - atleast you're spending time with your family and these times will definately be the ones to look back on

Bon voyage mes petites chéries

See, I can speak French... a bit... 

RHS x

And so, I begin my holiday prep

I have finished work, had a great nights sleep and completed my daily 15 minute abdominal routine. Therefore, there is only two things left to do - go on holiday and of course, prep. 

This isn't your standard night out prep, this is full on "I'm going on holiday, I need the world to know" prep. Like a Strawberry Pavolova on a night out but an M&S Strawberry Pavlova for holiday. 

This is big - the girls are with me. 

I will be jet setting to the beautiful South-West coast of France for my 20th Summer there (and potentially my 25th time there) and prep gets more complex every time!

So here is what I shall be starting as soon as I have completed my daily 15-minute panic.

Starting with my face I shall be applying my mud mask (these are incredible and are basically clay which help to dry your skin and deep cleanse your pores - which is great to avoid getting spots from hot weather - best applied after a shower when your pores are open) 

Then because I have large pores on my face I shall use a Boots Tea Tree and Witch Hazel Nose Pore Strip to give the pores around my nose an extra clean and remove any blackheads or grease - nice. 

In the shower I shall be using a VO5 Hot Oil which you place in a mug of very hot water and apply before shampooing - it makes hair silky soft and very easy to handle. 

I will then be giving my legs and bum a very good scrub with Fat Girl Scrub (this isn't just for fat people! its great for smoothing and removing any dead skin - use before shaving but be careful not to be too abrasive) 

I use Boots Smooth Care Shave Gel Sensitive as it is the best I have found - even out of the branded gels and I use Wilkinson Sword Hydro Razor - I have heard the new Venus Razor with Olay is very good too! 

Out of the shower I shall apply Fat Girl Slim which will help to even my skin even more for photo ready legs!  

Then, its time for wax, wax, wax - really there is nothing to be scared of - we don't want a Miranda on 'Sex and the City' moment do we? - that was embarrassing! - it doesn't hurt one tiny bit - I've tried many home waxing kits for 'delicate areas' and this Jolen Salon Formula Microwave Wax is the gentlest I have used - I do have quite a high pain threshold when it comes to these sorts of things! - but a bikini wax at a salon is usually only around £7-£12 if you want to have an expert have a go first! - A day before you go use Skin Doctors Ingrow Go formula to remove any stubbornness! - enjoy! 

Mani and Pedi time! WOOHOO 

I recently did a post on 'Newspaper Nails' if you fancy something more arty - I have also written in this blog about how to remove cuticles safely.

I have Boots Soothing Gel Foot Mask which is incredible: remove any previous nail varnish, soak your feet in hot bubbly water, dry and apply a thick layer of the mask, leave to dry for 10 minutes then soak off again, dry feet and paint nails! 

I am going to use my very hard wearing Essie in Snap Happy #244 for my toes and then just a coat of Boots Base Coat and a coat of Boots Top Coat for my nails as finger nails get chipped very easily on holiday - I have spoilt many a £20 mani by going away! - so settle for a shiny coat to add a bit of something to your nails! 

Then just as I start to get very excited about 10pm I will apply a good helping of Fat Girl Slim Sleep which Bliss have to very kindly added lavender too and it smells delicious! - smoothing and soothing all in one. Ahhhhhhh 

So, beauty aside, I have downloaded the latest issue of Vogue onto my iPad (£2.99 on the iPad but £3.99 from a shop), downloaded The Picture of Dorian Grey - Oscar Wilde and made a summer playlist - which is potentially too embarassing to share with you... but to stop you guessing it includes 'Superstar' by Jamelia - classic

and also 'Work' by Iggy Azalea - amazing.

I have put my favourite TV programmes on to record: 'Hotel Hell' with Gordon Ramsay and 'Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model' - because I want Sarah to win! 

And don't forget to watch Mo Farah run in the 5,000m final on Friday at 5:15pm (6:15pm if you're in France, like me) if you listen hard enough you will probably hear me screaming at the TV. 

If you're going away anywhere, enjoy and don't forget your prep!

Love

RHS x

The calm before the storm

I'm sat in bed - Don't be too shocked, I was at work till 12:30am 

Listening to 'Blue Velvet' by Lana Del Rey.

Thinking - what next? 

I'm not talking the deep "what am I?" "where am I heading in life?" kind of thinking - get real. 

I'm thinking what do I blog about. 

I feel I'm having a lul. 

I'm going to Durham on friday (hometown 2) and I can feel things brewing up there. 

I'm going to France in 9 days (oh how I love love love going to France - await lots of pictures of chateaus and me drinking samples of wine) 

I'm going to Marbella in just under a month (with two friends and I am so excited, just to go to Surrey to be honest - expect where to go and where not to go I'm picturing)


But I thought to end this random blog I would share one of my greatest loves... 

Yes, the piano. 

Horrible to hear (again) but I have broken yet another violin string, this time the D, first it was the A, then they wanted to change the E too (don't make them so damn thin then!)

But my piano is still perfectly in tune - of course it is because it loves me. 

I have my lovely concert grand Steinway and Son 

but I dream of having an upright Kemble. 

I may have got that the wrong way round. 

Anyway, getting lost in classical music isn't something to shout about I can imagine but its definitely what got be through A levels, GCSE's and my first year at Uni, 

If you can't play the piano - I highly advise you listen to it (Einaudi has released several albums on iTunes - he's one of the ones that are still alive - most of the pieces I play are from pianists who were around in the 1700's. 

And I also think if I can pass my grade eight piano after 3 months at Uni with no piano teacher - anyone can do anything if you put your mind to it


RHS x