When 20 becomes 30 and 30 becomes 40

I'm nearly 20 (precisely 8 weeks today) which as I keep saying to people means I'll be nearly 30 which then means I'll be nearly 40 which by then I'll have minus two kids (the kids I would have had if I hadn't been climbing a career ladder) and I'll be happily single with a cat called Elliott (if its a boy or Felicity if its a girl- the names I would have called my children). 

So "nearly" meaning "almost" or "fairly close to" -  I know there is a decade between 20 and 30 and 30 and 40 (A in GCSE Maths, not many people can say that you know) however to me that will be the next milestone and ever since Jennifer Garner was in 13 going on 30 I never could wait to be 30 (flirty and thriving, say it with me!). Now however at the tender, ripening (no really, crows feet, expensive eye concealer, firming body lotion) age of 19 I am nearly (that word again) half way through my degree, which two mornings ago I questioned where a year has gone - seriously who do I write to about this. I hope its not RBS. 

So we lead onto another thing. RBS. I'm turning into my grandmother (she's 70, I'm 19 going on 70, it gets better doesn't it) and she always told me to have one bank, which I did till I was 14 and wanted a debit card (basically my portal to buying Topshop, or the 1/5095th I could afford, which was great because at 14 I was a tidy 6 and oh does Topshop love to serve the skinny, as we learn as we turn 16, 17, "oh my I'm curvy" 18, "time to become a 10" 19). I'm getting sidetracked; RBS want me to write in to close my bank account, in this day and age. As Natalie said "where is my owl". "write in" who do they think I am?! I'll write an email and write in a letter of complaint. 

Where was I? I'm currently having a conversation (Facebook Mail, who has time to meet and talk anymore?!) with someone (might be Mike) about how I don't go out much (its been 2 weeks of actual term and I have been out three times now I think that is me going slightly crazy and has lead to me assess my mental health however to most students that is a dismal effort and probably brands me with a 3rd class honours and leads to several forfeits). Who wants to go out anyway when you can read Charlotte Brontë or watch a Sarah Jessica Parker film and drink dandelion and burdock tea (with a hint of peppermint). Ok its official I am getting slightly boring but I want a good degree and a good CV and good skin when I'm 40 - you don't want to know what all the sugar in alcoholic drinks does to your skin, after all 40 is just around the corner - I'm halfway there! (nearly). Don't worry I'm going out on Thursday AND Saturday next week! (I'll be careful).

Anyway, this was my break from reading about how Japan have outdone the U.S. in manufacturing by keeping costs low etc and how Darwin has explained why we prefer to eat sugar and fat. 

I'll let you decide which is the most interesting

Rant over

RHS x

P.S. If anyone missed JD and Mike's heart to heart in Storytellers on Thursday please ask them to reenact it - it was beautiful.

Warm Fuzzy

Its Monday morning, I got woken up at 9am by someone ringing the buzzer, me thinking it was a parcel leaped out of bed and grabbed a coat, only to be asked if my silver Peugeot was blocking the alley way, what?! "no", *slams phone down*. Its raining, I wanted to go for a run but I chickened out - I'll only catch a chill.

So, I thought I would start a 'warm fuzzy' (name slightly stolen from Ricky! sorry!x), something that will cheer you up, and using Pavlov's classical conditioning you will see "warm fuzzy" when I repeat the post title with a.n.other fuzzy and you will instantly feel better and you will start to salivate at what you are about to see... maybe... this one doesn't involve food, but you get the picture.

So here it is - Michael McIntyre's impression of the Yorkshire (mainly Leeds) accent and other things Leeds, such as "the loop" - I was ROFL-ing.

With love
RHS x

The Week Edit #1

Its safe to say that this week has been busy (even with two days off - not including the weekend... I need to make sure I don't get used to that). It was my first week of lectures and lots of firsts for that matter! Each week on a Sunday (after several hours of reading confusing, not always boring, long textbooks, after all "you read for a degree", alright then) I'll put together a collage, a visual delight to show my week in pictures... 

1. Creeps It was my first night out with Natalie this academic year, we went to Creeps in Middlesborough, last year we had a 9am lecture the morning after whereas this year we have a 12pm and a 1pm start! which means we can have two sambucas (and several cocktails)

2. Postgraduate dinner I played the piano on Friday night for 120 postgraduates from John Snow and Stephenson College, which was followed by a comedy night and far too much Domino's. 

3. Purdey's Rejuvenate This week I found a drink thats caffeine free and full of B vitamins to slowly release energy from your food so you get a little lift which is definitely required when "reading for your degree" 

4. Stockton Vintage Market Ah how I love my new tea set from the vintage market, it was £6.50 for a bone china cup, saucer, side plate, tea spoon, apple and cinnamon tea bag and 6 shortbread fingers! High Tea round mine! 

5. KitKat ChitChat I wear a yellow t-shirt and give people kitkats with other members of the rep team, my partner is Charlie and bless him it was his birthday and he had to leave football training early - but we had a great time chatting to the new freshers from Mezzino - please excuse this awful photo of me. 

6. Business Law This was the first textbook to arrive from Amazon at a very cheap £40 (not the most expensive!) and I thought it was going well till I realised we had to read to chapter 3 before tomorrow, chapter 3 beginning on page 63, I am very happy to say I have finished it! #teacherspet so much so I began reading it on Tuesday night... when everyone else went to KU, awkward. 

7. Gym! I went for my first run last week for the first time in 3 months and I am so glad I was able to complete it. The Injury is still there but getting so much better, and what better way to finish a workout than with a protein bar?! 

8. The First House Party was held last week and everyone was very sober (as shown by Mike in this dashing photo), we played a few tiny pranks involving rubber ducks and I promised a blog post which is now my 8th most read post! Yay! 

Have a good week!

RHS x

Boys Creepin'

Creepin' already

Myself and my MOH had out first night out together since being back, we don't spend much time together normally (hmmmmmm) so we decided to go to our unique Thursday spot in Middlesborough - Medicine bar, the night: Creeps. And this week the theme fitted the boys' pulling tactics down to a T. 

There are always more boys than girls there and they are definatley more Natalie's type then my own, but nevertheless they are normally very nice to us, apart from this particular night when we were preyed on in the oddest ways. 

Firstly I had someone grab my bum only for me to slap his hand and push him away for him to say "worth a try" - it really wasn't was my reply. This then happened once more so the boy decided then to try it on Natalie only for me to slap his hand away and protect the poor girl. 

Secondly a boy asked me if I was from Teesside University "God NO!" was my reply to which I think I offended him slightly (I'd still rather be from Teesside than John Snow) he then walked away and came back and said to me "I'm going now, so, good luck! you'll need it", erm, thanks?

Thirdly, this happened to Natalie, she was politely asked if she wanted a drink (I turned away thinking I shouldn't get involved) to which she repplied "No thank you, I've had enough" - brilliant. I laughed, he was offended, Natalie just stood there with her innocent smile that said "but thanks anyway!" and we continued to dance to Annie Lennox. 

Finally there was a group of three boys dancing round us, with us, almost in our private space, awkward when there was two of us so one of them put three fingers to his friends, they all nodded, he then put two fingers up and walked away... so there was just two of them left, neither of blessed with the best looks, but at least they acknowledged the fact there was two of us and three of them, which never works out well does it. #thirdwheel 

It was an 80's night but an Indie 80's night so it was very tied into the venue and the occasional India song was played by bands with names like Stroke My Cat and Emily Loves Kettles and the Cotton Vegans. You get the picture I was swaying like I knew what I was listening to whilst Natalie and the other hundred people were banging the ceiling in delight at the random mysterious music. 

So needless to say,  there wasn't a lot of eye confectionary however its always a good night after several cocktails, raspberry sambuca shots, rosé and gin. 

Get your creep on!

RHS x 

Decaffeinated Red Bull

It's rather unfortunate that I cannot have caffeine - I've been asked several times this week how I manage through exams and more importantly freshers' week without caffeine or alcohol. The answer is that I can get through exams fine but I really struggled this week without a pick-me-up. 

But, I no longer need to worry. Your Fairy God Mother (moi) has found a fantastic alternative to sugar-loaded, heart-hating, palpitation-loving Red Bull (and other caffeinated drinks...) and it comes in the form of Vitamin B. Vitamin B helps your body to release energy from the food you consume. 

Introducing Purdey's Rejuvenate - the first few ingrediants in Red Bull (I used to love RB I'm just comparing!) are: water, sugar, carbon dioxide and caramel sugar syrup. HOWEVER - in Purdey's they are: fruit juices from concentrate (grape and apple), carbonated spring water (for a little fizzzz), natural peach flavouring and botanical extracts...

Now these "Botanical Extracts" got me googling (and just generally very excited) - Damiana is a main ingredient in this drink and several herbal websites told me this is an aphrodisiac and has increased sexual arousal in male rats in lab tests - so... put down the oysters boys!... erm... but other sources tell me its good for weight loss and to speed up the metabolism BYE GREEN TEA! 

NEXT... Oak Bark - now last time I checked I wasn't a bark loving Elk so why are we drinking oak bark? ok so I found that it has endless healing properties ("healing properties"), from healing internal bleeding (i.e. bruises not anything severe), to containing bioflavinoids to strengthen veins and capillaries, reducing fever and is an antiseptic! (don't go pouring on open wounds please). 

NEXT... Chinese Ginseng is in this brown glass bottle to promote memory, thinking ability and overall concentration. #winning to all three botanical extracts - I'm going to buy a botanical plant. 

Ok so admitted a 330ml bottle (the same as a coke can - I know what I'm reaching for) is 24% of your  RDA of sugar intake but there is no added, refined or processed sugar like in Coke (named as it used to contain cocaine) it is all natural sugars from the fruit juices which you know is true because the bottle is 1 of your 5 a day - #winningagain 

Does it really work?

Oh yeahhh... in fact I think I'm still reaping the benefits as I'm a little on the hyper side (what you get for being up since 8am manically applying to seminars...).

I straight away felt better from taking it and it gave me a lift in concentration and allowed me to read a textbook without getting bored or having any mild heart complaints - result! 

Above all I'm game for anything in pretty packaging and this ticks all the boxes - its in a brown glass bottle with a silver coating to protect the B vitamins from the light so they are ready to be activated in your pH 2 stomach. 

The best thing is that its 60p a bottle in B&M (RRP: 82p-£1.20 depending on where you buy) so get yourself down and meet me in the B&M isle!

Stay healthy!

RHS x

The first house party

Lets just first get out the way how amazing College Colours was - Middlesbrough live, a massive dance floor, amazing lighting, average (vile) female dancers (but whatever, I can understand there was a budget), pyrotechnics and tunes that I havn't danced to since I was 16 - Amazing and all whilst I was completely sober - which is hilarious as you see everyone really really drunk and get to tell them "you're drunk!" and receive abuse back - timeless. You also don't have the hangover the next day.

On an even better note due to a week of running after freshers, dancing, no alcohol and drinking gallons of water I have lost weight (yahh) - "become a fresher rep bootcamp"- I am going to start it up. It works wonders

Ah so its now all over and the end of an amazing week would not be complete without a house party and there was one - seeing as most people had been drinking since 2pm everyone was slightly on the tipsy side shall we say - my friend and I hadn't had anything by the time we got to the party (ok one G&T for Natalie and a V&O pour moi (vodka orange - obvs) so we were quite sober-ish. Well after a week of not drinking, two glasses of wine soon went to our heads and the madness started...

We had to sit on my bed when we got home and jot down everything because it was all too hilar to forget. Now where to start - the last thing that will ever be relevant to me - I have a Maid of Honour - A little early, I know, especially seeing as marriage isn't on the cards - ever - and its very obvious who my MoH is, we both have the same talent. Anyway, we hugged it out after we agreed to be each other's so thats one less thing for me to stress about! 

The Tour

We were quickly taken on a tour by Andrew (thanks Andrew) which we were so impressed with because from a flat for 3 people to a 9 bedroom house we were slightly gobsmacked - no beds made, all windows open, don't even know if the floors were carpeted or not because we couldn't see the floor. However I was impressed by the size of the rooms and a very large stash of protein in one of the largest bedrooms and at least 3 guitars (Anthony's room if I remember correctly), shoes were very nicely lined up downstairs (has anyone checked in the brown leather pointy ones yet? I would), I was very impressed that I didn't see any posters of naked women on any walls - classy boys (we didn't enter the 2 girls rooms who lived there) and the kitchen was spotless - has anyone checked the freezer? #quack.

Things got messy 

sober as. 

I left my phone with several people whom I should not have left my phone - never a great idea leaving your phone with tipsy people - unless you want snapchats sending to everyone and having to play rock paper scissors to reduce the number of seconds a picture is sent for - I have lovely friends. I was approached by the DJ who was holding a turquoise tea pot and was drinking out of the spout - me thinking this was some sort of drugged cocktail concoction was mortified until I was told to try some and to my utmost horror it was tap water - and as Ben said it made for very smooth drinking. However it did remind of "drink me" in Alice in Wonderland and we all know what that film was based on.

The end

The night finished with a chat with a really sober, fresher rep, rugby playing medic who swore to be a "good boy" this year and pass - you pinky promised - the JCR Chairman saw (who was busy watching breaking bad - great show) and my MoH. I almost can't remember all of that conversation but I remember something was said about being "1/4 Congolese, 1/4 Ugandan, 1/4 Argentinean and 1/4 Egypt" (yes not Egyptian, just Egypt)- Sorry to disappoint! 

It was then time to leave - after shouting "KIT KAT CHIT CHAT" at my fellow Kit-Kat Chit-Chat partner (5 times too many) and leaving the Vice President reading a very, shall we say 'interesting' book about fulfilment - complete with pictures we hopped into a taxi - where I had the door opened by my rock paper scissors opponent - then we got hope Natalie ate porridge out of a mug with her hair tied up like a chav (she said it! not me) and wrote down everything that happened - and some of which is far too inappropriate for a blog - I kept this relatively clean. By the way, we found 3 rubber ducks and hid them...

sums up Freshers'

A quick note about Freshers'

A&E trip aside, it has been an incredible freshers' week (sick?), its so amazing to wear a yellow t-shirt and represent the college as a Welfare rep and I know the Fresher reps and Ticket reps will agree too (and the exec!). Its been just over a week of karaoke, acoustic nights, Hawaii, fairs, Matriculation, too many chants, too many stairs, long nights, early mornings, little food, no alcohol, sports bar crawls and painting by numbers, the lion king, Ku, Noah's Arc and about a million other things that I am honestly too tired to remember. Buts its been a great experience and I've made friends that I never thought I would.

ttfn

RHS x 

p.s. Mike. 

p.s.s. No ducks were hurt during the party

"Treats", Hawaii and Noah's Arc

Firstly its been 6 days since my last post. Sincere apologies.

Secondly, its because I've been having an INCREDIBLE time with the other reps making this years Stephenson College Freshers' week amazeballs - Don't mention balls, not after some poor fresher went along with the Rugby team on a sports bar crawl and had one strapped to his head - no fresher was hurt during the crawl. We hope. 

So its been 6 days of madness, not enough hours in the day, too much vitamin C intake, run-ins with Police, dancing when sober (not easy), welfaring welfare, 3 Freshers' fairs, a few chunderers, chants against the other college (including words which wouldn't usually be uttered) and a Durham University mix-up of 'Dilemma' - throw in a trip to A&E and we have ourselves a freshers week! woop woop! COME TO DURHAM UNI (stevo, obvs)

To highlight a few events (working backwards, I've forgotten what day it is already) last night was the Silent Disco and parent night - we all have kids to look after for a year and can I just point out one of  our kids is going on Pointless, yes the pointless TV show on BBC where you guess what no one else guessed and its incredibly hard to win... the point? - there isn't one, hence the name pointless, because its pointless because no one ever wins? is that clear? So we have the next George Clooney in our brood. So far we have 5 kids for 6 parents (very modern) so if anyone wants to be adopted then let me know! Ah the silent disco - included putting your fingers in someone face and mouthing "TWO!" "ONE!" and raving away when they turn over and avoiding singing when someone approaches you with no headphones on. 

Mr&Mrs Stevo - ahhh strong (unfortunately strong) memories from last year fill my memory, swapping clothes, inappropriate dancing, downing water - it all seems quite tame (until you add the things it wouldn't be PC to add. This year includes sucking lollies and downing drinks, spinning round and working out an anagram - all for a week of being known then everyone forgets that you ever were in Mr&Mrs Stevo - Oh until next year.... thanks, 'friends'. 

Durham was an interesting night, the Hawaiian night, which jumbled into the pirates night and the cowboys and indians night - Durham is too small. It included some very, very, very very drunk freshers (fresher), a 4-bar bar crawl (with "treats" in one - thankfully just drinks, we were worried), reps dancing alone when the freshers were ushered to the next bar, a pleasant chat with a Policeman (not really but I'll be good), a pleasant chat with a nurse a Dr, a paramedic and a taxi driver telling us about his bankruptcy for 40 minutes and how everyone called him superman - I politely said "aw" at occasional intervals - it got a bit creepy when he started playing the superman theme tune, more creepy that he had it on his phone - last time I checked Superman wasn't 18 stone and didn't like to sit in an igloo. 

The Arc - we clambered in with the other college in 2 by 2, the elephant fox and kangaroo, Noah was late but he is 3000 years old, his wife came too (just had to rhyme the last bit...) The Arc is the first night the Freshers meet the other college and actually get to try out their new chants and see a teeny bit of rivalry (utter lunacy to be exact), the Arc consisted of bad cheese jokes (which I thought were hilarious but anything makes me laugh), Natalie being soaked in Jack Daniels and Coke, Rahil singing a 5 minute mash-up of incredible songs whilst playing the piano, Lizzie doing her thing on her guitar, Ricky remixing Dilemma "Even thought I'm from John Snow, oh you know I'm crazy over Stevo" or something like that I've slept since then and then some performances from John Snow, hilariously inappropriate gas bill jokes and blind date with an Irish girl and Indian woman and cocktail sausages (no girl wants to hear a boy say his favourite cocktail is a cocktail sausage - just for a heads up HAHAHA).

So College Colours tonight - the excuse to lose your voice shouting the C word and calling the other college names you would't shout at your worst enemy - ooh it gets harsh - the excuse to hate anything that is blue - I'm currently looking at my dashboard on my laptop and not liking that Safari, Twitter, iTunes and Word (oh and Mail and half of Finder) are in blue - at least Calendar and Dictionary are with me) - the excuse to shark on the John Snow freshers (thats Stevo freshers on John Snow freshers). It will be a good one.

I now have to finish my typing because I can no longer concentrate as my room is wobbling, windows shaking, light flickering and ceiling creaking - I wish whoever is above me would take trampoline practise outside. thanks. 

Stevo Love, 
RHS x

p.s. I sincerely hope "BLOGGGG" was shouted in a certain household when I posted this - I will be very disappointed if it wasn't! Love x