Wednesday 31st July: complete and nutter honesty

Its August tomorrow, 

my new, short hair, in Pizza Express

AUGUST. A month away from starting University, 2 months will Hallowe'en, 3 months till bonfire night and 4 months till my birthday, who cares about Christmas? 

Tonight, I did something crazy, 
I must have been having a young-life crisis (although those that know me know that I am far too organised to have a crisis!) because I (my hairdresser) cut about 4 inches off my long hair. 

Don't cry for me Argentina, 

Its ok, it needed it. But, nevertheless, its gone. 
I just got home and I look like Ollie Locke's twin. That wasn't something I'm allowing you to laugh at. 
But its that perfect length! 
Its ok though, the sun will make it grow, like a plant. 

To make the situation better I had my haircut paid for me, thanks mum. 
BUT then I took HER to Pizza Express (sacrilege!) 

Its gone up a league (Pizza Express), there's a new menu, loads more starters including a mushroom Bruschetta, but of course, to nurse my lul I had dough balls. 

We had a glass of wine each (I had a Merlot Rosé, of course, not cheap at £4.50 though!) 

Toffee Glory

I had an Four Seasons pizza - it had Anchovies on it. 
mm. Now if you haven't had them, you need to! they're smaller than sardines and are very salty but taste so good - they're not fishy at all. 

Then, 
I can barely say it, 
THEN we had a "Toffee Glory" 
It was huge. Like, massive - Ice cream (sorry - Gelato), toffee pieces, wafer, toffee sauce, ice cream, wafer, toffee pieces, toffee sauce, toffee sauce, ice cream, toffee sauce and then chocolate dusting. 
Its my 'bad' day.

Moving on... 

There was a couple in there that had me thinking. 

She was undoubtedly gorgeous, he was rough around the edges had a ridiculous amount of festival bands on his wrist - show off - she had salad. 

Salad - who has salad at Pizza Express?!

thats like going to a brothel for a hug - bless her, she clearly wanted to make a good impression, she definitely salivated when our dessert came. 

They were very cute though, they had to eat using only a fork because they were too busy holding each other's hands - and playing footsie (theres no table cloths silly!) 

I don't know if I could be affectionate in public - everyone looks and then try to show they weren't looking, just creeps me out. 

More madness

Theres this boy, I call him Panda (he'll kill me just for saying that), he's a very close friend of the family and he's on a date (gwarn son!), whist his sister sends me Snapchats of her and her mum sat at home. 

So I was thinking, I'm sure he's like 15?! No, he's 18 and has suddenly become a cross between a made in chelsea actor (looks wise) and a Jack Wills model and he used to be a chunky monkey. How they grow up.

Tomorrow is a new day 

Tomorrow, I'm planning a post on fitness, because I'm a fitness instructor and have concrete abs. (Ha, ahhh I'm hilarious) 

No but really, I have some great tips! 

I'm going to reduce my calorie intake, as today's food could have kept an African child going for a month. 

I'm going to practise my piano and somehow find a way to tell mum I've broken a string on my violin. 

Mozart, 

aka

RHS x 

Confessions of an all girls' private school

We would frolic naked in the school grounds. 

The End. 

That was a joke, 

We only did that on special occasions, like Christingle. 

Its not what everyone expects

I went to an all girls' private school from 11 to 16 and I loved it, until I was in year 9. 

The bitchyness, the lack of boys (which meant everyone was after everyone else's boy - weren't they? - no.), there were snipes of "lock up your boyfriends" - yep. 

There were 36 of us in 1 year. 18 in one form. You can imagine what it was like when there were then 3 maths sets. 

There were lesbians, I will admit, but only a sprinkling, whether the school turned them that way, I'm not so sure!

The grounds says it all.

The location was the settlement, Ockbrook, 

the younger years were housed in the Mount, 

the middle years in the Grange and the upper school in the Main school, 

the hall was the Birtill hall, 

there was the Mullinuex centre and the Sports complex, oh and a swimming pool - Don't get excited, you were swimming in rat wee and spiders. 

People got D's at GCSE 

Yes really, there were those that didn't get a choice and had to take Foundation maths, and they got a D (I believe one question was how many sides does a triangle have - at a private school ha.)

We were the worst year for GCSE grades - sorry Mrs Steele (is she still there?...) 

The day our Head Mistress said you can't be pretty and clever

University challenge was in full swing and there was an... interesting... looking girl on there, she potentially wouldn't have won any beauty contests. 

Anyway, we were that age where we were posing in the toilets in the tiny mirrors with our Sony Ericson phones and judging each others choice of sunglasses. 

Mrs Steele wasn't impressed, she spent a whole 30 minutes during assembly (after we'd sung All Things Bright and Beautiful - think about it) telling us if we spent to much time on our looks we wouldn't succeed. 

THAT right there, was the motivation we needed. 

I got an A in maths *cough cough* 

3 male teachers and several hundred girls 

Yeah, what you're thinking is true, 

With one anyway. A science teacher, who was suspected of placing a web cam at the back of the class on the top of a globe and insisted on taking us into another room one by one to "discuss" our grades. 

I did only discuss my grades. 

After running club one lunch time he did ask me if I'd been to running club (I was in my P.E kit - good guess) 

Talking about P.E. kit - everyone had a Skirt with our full names embroidered and P.E. pants (grandma-ish), with a fully named tracksuit, the skirt then became a Skort, yep. 

An english teacher arrives to teach Set 2 GCSE English, I was in set 2. 

He was by no means attractive but that didn't stop him sleeping with a girl who had left the year previous. naughty. he now teaches abroad I believe - or was removed. 

Domino Effect

One girl does something unheard of (with a boy), so does EVERYONE else. Really. It was a big case of "keeping up with the Joneses" on everyone's side

And it got totally out of hand. 

People were accused of everything and I mean everything! 

If I was a rich girl (na na na na na na na na na na na na na na naaaaa) 

I'm not saying I went to Cheltenham Ladies' College (at around £23,000 a year!) but some girls had more than others and there was a hierarchy. 

There was an R form and an M form in every year. I was in R, the M's were always superior, in looks, wealth, grades, the R's had more fun though. 

There were three houses... Hugglepuff, Ravenousclaws and Griffins. 

Ha, sorry, they were Budowa, Commenius and Cennick, 

I was in Budowa, we lost everything, except sport 

In summary

Trip to NYC

There were girls who bought alcohol to school, some who bought in drugs, some who bought in STD's, some who became pregnant (SCANDALOUS!), some who left the building to go and see the "talent" across the road. He still lives there now, I believe - nice chap. 

There was bitchyness, there was teacher abuse, there was an hour and a half for lunch spent outside doing nothing, there were teachers who had degrees from African universities (that were made up), History teachers that had a soft spot for Neville Chamberlain, bought in action men and told us the answers to everything, there were Ski trips to America, trips to New York, trips to Venice, France and Germany, rituals of singing as loud as you could in the dining hall when it was someone's birthday and forgetting your hymn book was basically high treason and you were held accountable for death. 

Mad, bitchy, full of nutters. 

In September, its taking boys. 

Co-Ed. 

Ruined. 

RHS x 

University secrets

This could be interesting... 

Durham University, Queens Campus, Stockton-on-Tees (yep, the North East - don't knock it!) 

"where's all the fit lads?" 

"why is it 78.4% girls?"- the questions all the girls were asking each other 

"I'm in heaven"

"where did I store my condoms?" - what the lads were saying 

its University, most people meet the person they spend the rest of their lives with at uni, of course this is what people were thinking! 

Never have I ever 

Ok, it took me several weeks to understand the rules of this game 

NB: drink when you HAVE done what someone says they "never have" 

(there have been occasions when I have drank to things such as "never have I ever had a threesome" - I haven't, honest) 

This game often involved many people "dropping out" at certain points, 

especially when one boy dropped the "never have I ever masturbated" bomb - silence (at least wait till year 2 for those types!) 

Can you keep a secret?

Wow, the times I have heard this, 

"of course" - the majority of people do! 

Any juicy gossip? - no chance and I mean NO CHANCE. 

keep things to yourself as much as you can, I definitely learned that way! 

choose your 'secret keepers' wisely

Gossip Girl

Yes, really, a Durham University Gossip Girl Twitter account was set up, I was a suspect (just because my window was perfectly positioned to see most goings on - it wasn't me, unfortunately!) 

This caused uproar! 

It was publicly posted when X was seen leaving Y's block etc... you get the picture. 

Again, being an undercover agent is best at Uni, 

The "Who can sleep with the whole of campus" game 

I didn't enter, I was too busy revising all the time, yep all the time - even at Christmas when we didn't even have exams 

Some people got a reputation though - if you're a lad, great (not really, but whatever), if you're a girl, oh dear. 

BUT - as I say (you may quote me) "Those that matter don't mind and those that mind, don't matter" (Smith, R. 2013) 

You're friends won't care who you get around with - makes nights in much more interesting (or the morning afters, or tbh that night after the action!!) 

Just try not to upset people - I've seen it happen and its a dog eat dog world (or lad sleeps with girl, is a prick, moves on, girls gets upset - standard, but sad) 

NB: twister? its never twister... where is there space to fit a twister mat? - exactly! 

Best time ever (not best song ever)

It is literally amazing at Uni, everyone should go, just for the experience (life that is!)

It goes far too fast though. And now, onto the second year, I'm hoping and praying (please God) that the partying does continue and the friends keep on coming! (as in, I get more, friends that is, jeez)

• Middlesbrough Empire Saturdays - wow, keep dancing till 4am 
• Photo bomb as many pictures as you can - especially in freshers
• Try anything! (except that - you might hurt yourself)
• Take Berocca - or grow an orangery 
• Don't pay for a TV license in halls (naughty) 

RHS x 

5:2

5:2? 

5:2? 

5 cookies for every 2 doughnuts?

Butternut squash risotto = 240 calories! 

5 pairs of shoes for every 2 new dresses?
5 nights out for every 2 nights staying in and drinking anyway?

er, not quite, its the 5:2 diet! yes, diet. (when friends read this I will probably get told off - sorry!)

Its this new craze thats everywhere! (apparently) and basically you starve yourself for 2 days of only 500 calories (ahh, 5:2 I hear you say)

Created by Dr. Micheal Mosely (of course, a man - http://thefastdiet.co.uk) the idea is that fasting helps you burn more fat by giving your body time to get rid of the rubbish it doesn't need. yeah. whatever. 

Now, for a runner this sounded a bit mental, seeing as when I train (good joke, Ruth), when I attempt to train (by looking like I know what I'm doing in the gym) I consume around 2300 calories a day. 

So, like the mad head I am, I gave it ago. Well. I have never felt so sh1t, if you will excuse my terrible Russian. 

I decided to do 1 day a week (5:1, far more sensible). I was working the night before and finished work at 3am, and from 12am I made sure I stopped eating, so I went to bed without my usual 2 biscuits after work and woke up at 11am. 

I had porridge with soya milk for breakfast = 144 calories, ok. 

I didn't have lunch, as I was up so late. I was at work at 6pm that evening so I thought between 11am and 6pm I could easily only have 500 calories, 



Around 4pm I had chicken satay skewers with spinach = 290 calories
  (recipe: http://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/dieting/recipes/52-bikini-panic-diet-recipes-1967236)

Then I had an Activia yogurt = 68 calories 

Total = 502, oops. 

As you can see, its hard! 

So I got to work and by 10pm I felt like a hairy Neanderthal, who had woken up with severe period pain - nice. I felt awful and got home at 12:30am and weighed myself. 

My friend, tucking into a late night takeaway! -
why not!

I HAD LOST A POUND. not joking, I wouldn't lie to you. 

the idea is that you eat 500 calories for 2 days a week and "normally" for the remaining 5 (i.e. 2000 calories a day) and that you workout for 30 minutes for 3 of the 5 days. 

Its worth it, apparently you lose up to 2lbs a week in the first week then a lb a week after that.

Is starving ourselves the way forward to looking good or losing weight? 
That sounds like a bad case of "Im Dior, I need size -6 models not 0, Chanel has them!" 

know what I mean?

stay healthy and happy!

RHS x

Classics #1 Persuasion - Jane Austen

I've finished it. I finished it last night, to be precise. 

I got it because Waterstones are selling Wordsworth Classics books (made for students) for £1.99!

I never really planned on reading its meagre 201 pages, I just hoped it would look good in my "library" in my "own house" in several years time. 

Nevertheless, thanks to the recent heatwave I picked it up and didn't put it down - metaphorically speaking of course. 

Its a book thats more 50 shades of thesaurus than grey, of Much Ado About Nothing, until someone does something scandalous, sorry "scandalous' - no one has any rabbit moments.  The book is wordy but I highly advise it is read. 

I read that it is better than Pride and Prejudice! (which I still have to read). 

I'll try not to give too much away 

(ruined by the letter! - sorry!) 

The heroine, Anne Elliot is the middle daughter of Sir Walter Elliot, her eldest sister, Elizabeth, and father are very much focussed on social class and will not be seen with people who are inferior (this is made painfully clear in many chapters - thankfully they move to Bath to solve Sir Walter's debt issues). 

Anne Elliot is very closely acquainted with Lady Russell who is like a mother figure (the Elliot sisters' mother died) to the three girls, Anne is her favourite however. 

Lady Russell, although she means well throughout the book persuaded Anne Elliot not to marry Captain Wentworth (Mr Darcy - basically, or Aston Kutcher, whoever, he was fit). Then eight and a half years later they are reunited, but Captain Wentworth is having none of Anne's forwardness. After many swings and roundabouts of family: she loves him, he loves her, she's taken ill and falls for someone else, Captain Wentworth is eventually drawn to Anne completely. Last night I have to say, and I am potentially the LEAST romantic person ever, but this tugged at heart strings somewhere in me: the letter written to Anne by Captain Wentworth:

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone for ever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us justice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating, in

F. W.

I must go, uncertain of my fate; but I shall return hither, or follow your party, as soon as possible. A word, a look, will be enough to decide whether I enter your father's house this evening or never. 

and sigh... how could Anne Elliot refuse this?!
It was clear at the end that Anne had searched for 8 years to find a match close to what she had when she was 19 but couldn't.

Could the person we will end up marrying be in our current friendship group?

Well worth a read, if you fancy something different from a chick flick, you can easily associate with the characters in this book and the relationships are fascinating, especially that of Mary Musgrove (youngest Elliot) with her husband (Charles Musgrove) and her children.

Keep your friends close!

RHS x 

and so I start a blog.

I've been putting it off for months, maybe even a year now. 

I was going to do it when I started University last September, but I guess the life of a fresher is far more important. 

Anyway, as we are in the middle of a very long (never too long) summer break I believe it is time. As recent events in my life are definitely worth sharing, its never been a better time. 

So here is it, the blog of Ruth Hannah Smith (not famous, yet.), the fitness addict, cake addict, all things Jane Austin addict (soon to venture to the Brontë's), modern day Mozart (ha), traditional waitress ("the sea bream is a river fish" - yes, really), business student (now 2nd year, it flies), Durham University, sister to non, daughter to two, friend to many (I hope), girlfriend to non, ever (and so it shall stay, through choice).

That's me, in a curly walnut shell. I'll blog anything and everything - this is basically me stretching out of my 140 character Twitter limit (crazy fools). Twitter you ask? - @RuthHannahSmith 

I know this is the start of something that will probably have me more hooked then Champagne - Veuve Clicqout Ponsardin (vintage), if you must know, its my 20th in December.  

Ciao, 
RHS x